So long!

End of another year. 2008. I can still myself writing the date on my notebooks in school. 1991, 1992 and so on...How quickly time passes! How all of us have grown up and dealing with the issues grown ups do! Talks of money, marriage, and recession take a lot of our time. The time devoted to talking about the lighter side of life is dwindling by the day! This year brought me many joys and a lot more pain. I guess this is life.

I took a 3 day break from work for the new year and enjoying being a blissfully lazy bum at home. Have to return tomorrow and reluctant to do so! Listening to Pink Floyd's High Hopes now. Reminds me of the several posts I have not written yet. Lets hope I will get to it soon, now that I am taking my PC to Bangalore.

Wishing all of you a happy and healthy 2009!

P.S: Beware! 2012 is nearing! :P


There are certain situations, no matter what you do, you just cannot fix it. The broken remains stare at you, a very tired you. You explore other possibilities. None seem good enough. But you just cannot let this go. A massive tug occurs in your heart every time you think about it. You try to bury yourself in work only to realize its better off not screwing up that part of your life. Besides, there is nothing much to do. You try to listen to music and your miss your collection. You find yourself stifled by the head phones. You spend a fortune on getting a high end headset only to keep on staring it. People say you are crazy. Yup. You probably are...You realise that you are turning into an undead inside...neither dead, nor alive...words keep ringing in your head...

I blind my eyes and try and force it all into place,

I stitch them up, see not my fall from grace

I blind my eyes, I hide and feel it passing me by,

I open just in time to say goodbye (from the song That was just your life by Metallica from the Death Magnetic)


Yup...I am in a 5 star hotel. The overpriced, expensive shit that people seem to fantasize. Expensive would be a slight word to term things over here. I am bankrupt due to certain unforeseen circumstances. Hopefully, I will get a "bailout" tomorrow. 2 hours of Internet cost a fat sum of 400 Rs! No wifi, just plain old wired net. This is all fucked up man! Overpriced booze sits untouched in the mini bar. Only bright side? I figured out the bath and going to have a dip in the hot tub. Ciao!

A Day in the Life-1

Wake up everyday,
Make the dash to get the pay.
Outside I watch the dogs,
Reveling their mention in the blogs.

Then I ask the juice man,
Make it grapes today I am in a run,
Obliges he chats up,
About all happenings and stuff.
I gulp down the liquid and nods to his rant,
Discuss what to do about the slant.

Off to the roads daring my life,
One of these days I'll be in a strife.
Drivers go about like its their last day,
Murderous looks they give as if in a play.

Somehow reach the other side,
Watch the pretty ladies wondering they up for a ride.
Admonish self for the lust,
Lure of Asmodeus overcomes lest.


It was a week in which nothing made sense. Bloodshed, mayhem, 24x7 news coverage...Probably only thing expected was the political mud slinging. But beyond the human factor, this incident did not make sense from a geo-political perspective. Pakistan Government or even the ISI would have to be out of their minds to plan such an attack. Attack in the sense, not the scale but the targets.

There have been numerous attacks on Indian soil. Some fronted by home grown terror outfits others by radical organisations outside India.

First of all, we can discount the following allegations:
  • Sangh parivar perpetrated the whole thing. (Load of crap!)
  • Israel did it! (Like they have nothing else to do!)
  • America did it! (Duh!)
What all the current evidences and previous experiences suggest is that the operation was carried out by Lashkar with/without the help of Al Queda. We can also deduce from our experiences that the ISI had some hand or the other in this operation. What was their motivation apart from killing heathens and shaming a heathen state? We just cannot leave it at that conclusion.

All of us start to seeth like rabid dogs when such attacks occur. We bay for the blood of terrorists. But we never look into the strategic or geo-political aspect of such attacks. Lets consider the whole affair from a larger perspective. Lashkar and other militant outfits were primarily based out of Kashmir with the blessings of Pakistan Government and its Army. No body cared when we cried at the terrorists. Then 9/11 came along and the snakes that US bred came back to bite it hard. The "brave mujahideens" turned into the dreaded Al Queda. Finally the west realised its folly and hit back hard. Hit back unnecessarily with a lot of venom. War on Iraq gave practically gifted them a lawless country with lot of fresh, angry, purposeless recruits. Also, it gifted them an even worser lot. Educated, employed, intelligent but extremely disillusioned youths. Now, terrorism became globalised just like the rest of world. Pakistan realised it could never handle Kashmiri militants like they used without inviting the wrath of the US. Naturally the militants madea a liaison with the Al Queda along with the rogue, fundamentalist elements of the Pakistan establishment.

Terrorists or the ones who head them are not idiots. They know that they are fighting a war against a far superior force. They need heavy artillery to move things along. They need missile systems, they need access to a huge army, and above all they need nuclear bombs. Thus, Pakistan becomes a strategically ripe target. Pakistan economy is in a dangerous situation and the state runs of the possibility of becoming bankrupt. Pakistan is going around with a begging bowl for rescue. More specifically, the democratic Government is going around. If the state fails, it will fall to the radical elements. There is no other way to go.

Radical elements need to ensure this downfall. This plan was probably enhanced by this realisation. The terrorists probably were on training for the past one year or so to conduct such an attack. This would have been known to a lot of people in Pakistan as well. May be the entire plot was known only to the trusted people.

Lets see the sequence of action:
  • Attack places were it actually hurts the Government
  • Attack US and other western citizens
  • Attack Jews, so that Israel will be totally against any sort of appeasement
Lets see the reaction:
  • India proves that the attack is with the help of Pakistan stops short of attacking it but deals enough damage on a reputation level
  • US is angered over the loss of life and with Obama coming in the US support of Pakistan will be next to nil
  • Israel makes sure that US does not help Pakistan in any way
  • Lack of US support makes Saudi Arabia and others hesitant to help Pakistan
  • Pakistan falls and the vultures come in to feed
Do we really want a fully mobilised and totally crazy army against us? This is a situation to be dealt with very delicately and with a lot of foresight. I really doubt our leaders have such vision though. I don't want to predict an impending doom, but this certainly looks awfully like one.

Localising Terror

Saw this comic in the Dry Bones Blog. Poignant and hits the point. Terrorists try to localise terror as much as possible. If they get the support of at least one local, then they win and we lose. What can we do to counter such naive but dirty tactics? I would replace Islamism in the comic with Islamic Terrorism. Both are radically different things.

I want my country back

This makes me sick to the core. What do they gain by killing civilians? Eternal life in heaven? What are we doing about the perverted bastards poisoning the minds of young men? What exactly is the politicians smoking? I would like to have a puff too. May be it will make me insensitive to all that is happening in our country. Apparently, the coast of our biggest city is so well guarded that a sizeable contingent of armed terrorists can walk in and shoot people in cold blood. Who is to blame here? The corrupt officials? Or is it the political big wigs who would not hesitate to pimp their daughters for more power?

The attack showed the audacity with which the terrorists acted. Its after all the fucking Indians, shoot the pigs down! Mow them! Decimate them! No ones going to touch us! We can always pay our way out and dedicate a few of our martyrs in the process! Aisa hota hain!

Are we eunuchs to take all these and keep asking for more? Any self respecting man or woman cannot tolerate this anymore. We can be insensitive only to an extent.

Remember the words in the poem First they came...:
They came first for the Communists, And I didn’t speak up because I wasn’t a Communist;
And then they came for the trade unionists, And I didn’t speak up because I wasn’t a trade unionist;
And then they came for the Jews, And I didn’t speak up because I wasn’t a Jew;
And then . . . they came for me . . . And by that time there was no one left to speak up."
This is a song against the Nazis. But it doesn't this have a lot to do with our mindset as well?

'Oh its poor that are killed, but I am not poor. Its the majority/minority that is killed, but I am not one. It happens only in the North, but I am glad I am here. OMG they are coming for me and I have no where to run!'

What will be the end result of all these? Our freedoms will be curtailed on the pretext of security. Innocent people will be harassed. Terrorists will still romp free. New terrorists will be made or bought. People will be more insensitive than ever. Country will still go to the Dogs...

P.S: Since the past week, I feel that Airport Road in Bangalore (the HAL one) is seeing an increased security. More police men than ever! Is trouble brewing?

How soon is now?

Title alludes to a brilliant song by The Smiths. You can find it at the bottom of this post. A brilliant song about a loser, single guy. I hope it makes sense at the end of the post as well.

I never thought seriously about getting married. Thought, yes. Thought like what would I be doing if a bunch of cannibals caught me and put in a big cauldron to make a stew. Nothing concrete. But me in a distant land (any place 10 KM from home is distant!) seems to ring alarm bells in my parents' head. Fortunately, I am blessed to have a nice cousin, who is a self-proclaimed romeo and working in the film industry, dilly-dallying with the babes. Furthermore, he is a certified flirt machine by the family. So the attention is on him and everyone's scared he would land a babe unacceptable to the family.

Right now, I have successfully thwarted all the advances my parents made regarding a couple of proposals by the following rebuttals:
1. I am too young!
2. I won't do anything stupid!
3. I cannot afford without compromising on my extravagant lifestyle! (I had a close look at a couple of guys who got married recently. Its a bleeding (no pun intended?!) experience!
4. I will only marry a girl who can install Debian in text mode while looking stunning!

Now my parents are investigating what the heck this Debian is. In the meanwhile, I am continuing my age old tradition of being Chandler, minus the vampish mother, transvestite father, and a nipple; but inclusive of the gay innuendo! At the same time, several incidents are asserting my apperent goofiness while dealing with the feline, err, female kind!

Scene 1 Office Cafeteria, Lunch time

Four of us are having lunch; our Manager, two colleagues, and me. I am the only male specimen.

M: (to me gesturing at C1) Look how beautiful her eyes are!
C1 blushes (she is happily married btw!). She usually wears spects.
Me: (looking straight at her eyes) Oh! Where are your glasses? Got contact lenses? No wonder your eyes look big!
M thumps on forehead, C1 is visibly shaken, C2 is laughing herself to glory.
M: You will reach a long way with the ladies. You give complements! Not talk about technicalities!
C2: It seems we have a hard task of teaching him.
M: I am suspending my search for a suitable girl for him!
Me: *sheepish grin* Let me get myself some buttermilk!

Scene 2 Bank

I am at the Bank to take a DD and things are in a mess. I am dressed in my faded black Linux tees and a pair of faded out, torn jeans. I walk upto a Relationship Manager, who is apparently a babe!

Me: Excuse me! *hops up and down with hands with pockets*
RM: *looks up and scowls* What can I do for you, "sir"?
I tell her my predicament hoping she would sympathise.
RM: *dismissively* Sorry sir, you have to have an account with us.
Me: But of course! I have one!
RM: *disbelievingly* Really!!!
RM: Do you have a cheque leaf?
Me: No, but...
RM: *triumphantly* Aha! Get your ass off here!
Me: What??
RM: Err...I can't help you without one!

Me walks out as other Bank babes looks derisively.

Scene 3 Bank

Monday morning and I am at the Bank, armed with a cheque leaf. Monday hangovers from my last workplace means that I am well dressed and shaved!

Me: Excuse me! *hops up and down with hands with pockets*
RM: *looks up with a look "i have seen this hop before"* Yes sir?
Me explains my predicament along with the dire consequences I would end up if I don't get the DD.
RM: *finally realising who I am* See that counter buster? Its written DD. Can't you read?
Me: What??
RM: I mean, see that counter 11? They provide the DD.

I go to that counter. From the name plate I guess that the female is a mallu. I give her the stuff she wants. She tells me to take a seat. The only available seat is in front a guy who seems to be very uncomfortable with the fact that no one is coming to him. All customers flock towards the ladies! I sit in front of him. I smile. He gives me a rotten look which seems like "i am not that type". So, I am embarassed. Looks around.

Lots of kids have come with their parents. Some hulabaloo happening. One kid comes near me. Latches onto my chair arms and smiles at me. I smile back. He leaves. I say in my mind, cute kid. I am trying to avoid looking at the officer opposite to me. I decide to turn my eye towards my right.

I stare into the babe officer's monitor. Deduces that the Bank uses Flexcube and wonders whether they have a robust billing platform also. I feel a heated gaze. The babe is looking at me. She thinks I am staring at something else. I look at her hands. Rings suggest she is married. Looks suggest she is a sardarini. My mind starts showing me vivid pictures of a well built sardar wringing my neck. I turn my head towards the left.

Goodie! LCD TV!

It says: Log on to our Net Banking system! Its good! Seriously, It rocks! Let us tell you a secret, it can get you laid! With Katrina Kaif!

Though I made up the last two, it nearly said those too! Over and over again! Now I feel a warm gaze. A girl is looking at me. I look back. She smiles. I am thinking of smiling back. Suddenly, the realisation hits. There may be someone behind me and she may be smiling at that person. I look back. No one. Must be my day! I invoke the Subramaniyapuram guy (remember the song Kankal Irundaal?) and smiles a 100 watt smile. I am met with an angry stare. An elderly gentleman, apparently the girl's father. Girl is looking straight ahead feeling offended.

I am in a fix as to where to look next. DD girl calls me tells me to sign once again. She gives a pretty disgusting look. I am left wondering what I did now. Suddenly, I find something gooey on my sleeve. Apparently the sweet kid that came near me gave me a really pasting on his snot. I get up and look around. Casually strolls to the place where they keep all the forms. Apparently while strolling casually I was whistling and the entire Bank is staring at me. Embarrassed, I simply roll up my sleeves.

The sweet kid goes to the DD girl. She gives him a lolkypop, mouthing words of adoration.She looks up at me with a shocking disgust since I was mouthing "o rly" during her "sweet aunty" gimmick. She decides she has had enough and gives me my DD. I thank her with a German accent so that she doesn't realise I am mallu. As I go out, I hear her remark to the babe manager, "bloody nerds!"

I guess the will make sense now!

Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you 'How Soon is Now?', the anthem of all the sacharrine challenged nerds!

P.S: I don't think this post made much sense. It is like life itself. Will not make any sense after a while!

Incoming and Outgoing

A very funny article on the United States President-elect Mr.Obama from the Huffington Post. It about how Obama always speaks in complete sentences.

A few excerpts:
"Every time Obama opens his mouth, his subjects and verbs are in agreement," says Mr. Logsdon. "If he keeps it up, he is running the risk of sounding like an elitist."

"Every time Obama opens his mouth, his subjects and verbs are in agreement," says Mr. Logsdon. "If he keeps it up, he is running the risk of sounding like an elitist."

The president-elect's stubborn insistence on using complete sentences has already attracted a rebuke from one of his harshest critics, Gov. Sarah Palin of Alaska.

"Talking with complete sentences there and also too talking in a way that ordinary Americans like Joe the Plumber and Tito the Builder can't really do there, I think needing to do that isn't tapping into what Americans are needing also," she said.

Well its so different from the outgoing United States President, who has spoken a few gems like these:
"The vast majority of our imports come from outside the country."

"If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure."

"One word sums up probably the responsibility of any Governor, and that one word is 'to be prepared'."

"I have made good judgments in the past.I have made good judgments in the future."

"The future will be better tomorrow."

"We're going to have the best educated American people in the world."

"I stand by all the misstatements that I've made."

"We have a firm commitment to NATO, we are a part of NATO.We have a firm commitment to Europe. We are a part of Europe."

"Public speaking is very easy."

"A low voter turnout is an indication of fewer people going to the polls."

"We are ready for any unforeseen event that may or may not occur.

"For NASA, space is still a high priority."

"Quite frankly, teachers are the only profession that teach our children."

"It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it."

"It's time for the human race to enter the solar system."
How dare those Americans elect an educated, level headed President and rob us of all the fun!

P.S: I will be publishing an article on US Presidents soon. An analysis from my perspective.

The Creator

This is was me...several years back...

Now this is me...don't know for how long... (except for the fact that I am no longer in the university)

The first comic is Calvin and Hobbes (duh!)
The second is the latest XKCD, the best in a long, long time...


With little to no care,
You run about like a hare,
Scampering with an eternal fear,
Or is it because you want to beat the deer?

What will you do the day,
When it hits you are in a play.
Never looked out for the ones needed you
Sure that you will need them then too.

Losers you may feel now they are,
When you realize it may be too far,
Precious they were to you,
Respite they gave when you were blue.

Its sad how things veer on,
Now you don't feel alone,
The day will come when you reflect,
Hope time then makes you not deject.

A short piece of super duper poetry by yours smashing truly since he is feeling fairly masochistic and even more sadistic. This ones about people who give a damn about others and ignore the important things and people in their life. Knowingly or unknowingly. Now, that would include nearly the entire population! Those that are left out are either lying or vegetables.

Three Men and a Boat

Last weekend was yet another house boat trip. We went to Ernakulam for our ex-roomies wedding and arranged a house boat in Alappuzha. This trip did not offer the kind of pleasure that the previous trips did. We ran late and were pretty tired almost all the time due to the constant travel. Also, the gang itself was not the cohesive unit one would desire. Still it offered a lot of insights into the head of ordinary, average guys.

A small excerpt (a bit exagerrated!) from a drunk conversation at the middle of the night. Docked boat. Not so well behaved mosquitos. Vennilla Chandankinnam in Punnamada kayal (seriously!). All names numbered to keep anonymity. G3 is exceptionally well mannered and nice boy though!;-)

Guy 1: I was really hoping to score a chick in this trip.

Guy 2: Hmmm.

Guy 3: Huh?

G1: I have no hopes on others. Only you two.

G2 and G3: (thinking) O rly?

G1: We should have called some one.

G3: Santhamma?

G1: 18 year old Santhamma...

G3: We would have probably ended up with a Santhamma having a younger daughter of 18 years!

G1: And probably give her twice the amount of money she asks for her, after we cry hearing her life story.

G2: Without doing anything!

G1: Yeah, totally!

G3: We are nice guys. Born, brought up and will die the same way.

G1: If we do anything out of ordinary, we will end up screwed for the rest of our lives!

*long silence*

G1: But we also have our fantasies. I am going to>>>>>>> (totally censored due to sheer violence!) G3, don't you have any such fantasies?

G3: I have a strong gut, but I don't think I will ever be a sadist in sex. It doesn't feel right! No hard feelings dude, you are never going to marry a girl I know!

G1: *chuckles*

G3: G2, do you have such fantasies?

G2: Aavo? *sinister smile*

G3: Perverts! Hmm...thinking about it, I would probably give hickies!


Once upon a time I was obsessed with turning back time. To undo the bad things. To study well for that exam. To do things I should have done. Heck, I was a Backstreet Boys fan who loved the 'sublime' lyrics, "Oh I wish I could...Turn back time..." from the song Quit Playing Games! Over time, it finally dawned to me that I had to take ownership of my actions and my decisions. I think I became a better person ever since then. Still, my mind has its own reign and does things due to which I end up suffering. A suffering on the maximum scale. The pain which accentuates when you are alone or when some triggers appear. All these makes me believe in yesterday...Sometimes I simply want to live in yesterday...Basking in the pleasure of having your best around you...

So far, I have been successful turning a fairly nostalgic tag into a sentimental crap. So without further interruption, lets get on to it.

Crusader has tagged me. Similar to an old tag I did before.

Two questions from the past, present and future. Answer them and then
tag your friends from the blog-o-sphere. Leave a comment on their blog
letting them know they have been tagged and you are all set.


- Your oldest memories

I have a large collection of baby pictures which will put all who put theirs into shame. I was supposedly the cutest and most well behaved baby in town! I can confirm the cutest part from the pics. Unfortunately, I have never scanned them. So you will have to use your imagination!

Now to the oldest memory.

I was around 3. My dad had an old Jawa bike. We used to go to his native place in that. Me, mom, and dad. A long ride of around 36 KM one way. It was the Onam time. Suddenly, some monsters appeared out of no where and I started crying. My dad and mom comforts barely able to stifle their smiles. Apparently the monsters were the Kariyila veshams you see during Onam time. Man! I really need to see my parents now! :-(

- What were you doing ten years ago?

I was 14, in 9th standard. Struggling to keep up my reputation as a geek. Staring at the curves of the first girl I looked from an adolescent, adrenaline pumped point of view. Reading Sidney Sheldon novels purely for the masala point of view. In short, a pervert in making.


Working in a job which I love. Pondering what to do with my life. Scared about my future. Lamenting on my losses. Disinterested in my gains.


Have some urgent work to finish. Talk to many people to finalize things at work. Look for tickets to go home. Work on reservations for a conference next month. Clear my Airtel connection issues.

What do you see yourself doing 14 years from now?

Ideal Scenario:

Widely travelled both physically and mentally. Happily married to a great woman. Couple of good kids. Working on my terms, probably being a successful consultant or a writer or both! Lots of fun outings with my friends and family.

Dark and Depressing Scenario:

Broken and bitter with life. Reeling in a bad marriage, with kids scarred due to the bad home atmosphere. Working a shitty job. Ignored by everybody and dismissed as a "never been".

Writing about the former makes me even more scared!

If you build a time capsule what would it contain?

Memories...all of them...My mind commentary on each and every one, just like Director's commentary in a DVD.

I tag: If there is anyone left, this one is for you!

Crap! I think I have turned this into snooze fest!

Pascal Saves!

Check out my tech blog for a story on technology being a life saver.

A Gentleman...

I never write tribute posts when players retire. Never been driven to do that before. But this is special for me. The first player I seriously idolised since childhood. Anil Kumble. Everyone was a Kapil fan around me when I was a kid and I was one too. That was by virtue of namesake alone. Kumble caught my imagination as a true match winner spinning people into oblivion.

I distinctly remember the early 90s series where Kumble ripped apart batting teams and who can forget the awesome performance against the Windies in Hero Cup? I started bowling leg spin in my own little way (only to get my ass hammered most of time!) and even discovered the "oh-so" simple tactic of bowling googly and top spinners. Later on the adulation turned to admiration for the tenacity of Kumble. The never-say-die attitude and urge for success, which was painfully missing from most of our players.

His record speaks for himself. But more than any record, what he should be remembered for is his attitude. The art of being aggressive without mouthing a single foul word. A gentleman in all respects. Hats off...

Rant Rockus Rant

Long and devious rant ahead.

Before further ado let me say that the title of this post has been shamelessly ripped from a cool movie Run Lola Run. Hmm...may be I will watch it tonight...expose Dinkan (my roomie) to yet another torturous past time of mine. I have already started the slow poison method by putting on some "acceptable" music at midnight (ala Rock On, Avial, Rabbi), which will gradually graduate to Metallica, Iron Maiden etc.

Another change I have induced in almost all my roomies is reading. One guy refused to change. So we kicked him out of the house. He decided to go one up on us and get married next week. Poor dude. (P.S: All the best!) The reading material ranges from "Men are mars, Women are from venus" to "The White Tiger" with "Alchemist" and "Colour of Magic" thrown in. (P.S:Note to self. Should read the three unread books. Its a matter of shame now!) Another important change is that a couple of them have changed to lavish spenders. Spending more money than ever on pubs, booze, cigarettes. I hope they got their salary today. Got mine as a pay-check. So it will take atleast a coupleof days to process. A weekend ahead and all I have in hand is 4 rupees. No kidding!

Got sick yesterday. Had to waste a precious leave. But, in the end it was well worth watching Laxman marauding the Aussies. Sublime. I swear I had several orgasmic moments watching him play a few impossible flicks.

I am still to come to terms with my work here. I guess it takes time to undo my love for TBMS and channel it to PowerCenter. Hmmm...the difference can be better illustrated by an example. Imagine marrying a girl in the old fashioned, arranged way. You see the girl, like her, fix up the dates. Get engaged. You spent a lot of time chatting away idly before marriage. You become accustomed before you actually marry. My experience with TBMS is somewhat like that. I had a good one and half months training, where I played around with the product with lots of sample scenarios thrown in before I started my actual work. PowerCenter is a whole lot different. Imagine marrying a girl in the old fashioned, arranged way (again!). This time, imagine you are working abroad and have only a fortnights leave. You come home. See a few girls. Fix the marriage with the one you like the best. Marry within a week. You have no idea about the girl. Now imagine that girl to be the most complicated species ever created by God. Women are complicated anyways, so multiply that by a big integer. My situation with PowerCenter is similar. It will take time. But I relish challenges. I am sure I'll tame the wild woman...err product!

Read several books since coming to Bangalore. I will write reviews of them in Reading Loud. Resmi, I haven't forgotten!(yet!) I will list the books to make myself look hip and cool.

1. Chronicles of Narnia (all six)
2. Heidi
3. 1984
4. Keep off the grass
5. Seven Ancient Wonders
6. Six Sacred Stones

Currently reading Fight Club which will be followed by White Tiger unless something else catches my fancy. I should stop here lest the coolness freeze me to death.

The major past time, apart from generally loafing around occassionally drunk (have you loafed around drunk? Its fun you know!), is playing cards. Don't know what the game is called in technical terms, but we call it "28". I was a roll with beginners luck in the start, but now things have settled down with only rare occurences of dumbness. Another past time is trying hard to catch glimpses of the ladies living opposite to our house. A ladies PG, 4 stories tall is opposite to our house. Lots of babes wandering around at night (with mobiles in ears). We switch of the lights and stare on wishing to see "something". Pathetic! But its fun and quite mandatory if you live in a house with 5 other hot-blooded males, who are needless to say single.

On some days dialogues go like this, similar to the scene between Mohanlal and Mukesh in the movie Vandanam, translated for the benefit of my countless non-mallu fans:

Guy1: {With a victorious smile in face} Aliya!!! (Dude!!!)
Guy2: {Excitedly} Para, para. Enthelum kanda? (Tell, tell! Did you see something?)
G1: {shy} Full naked! (English translation the same)
G2: {sarcastic tone} Ayya. Angane first day onnum full um kaanan pattoola. (O rly? You cannot see full naked on first day itself)

Yeah, yeah. Its the same dialogues from Vandanam. Now sue me!

So life goes on. I go to sleep, quite late at night, contemplating my existence, only to be interrupted by a roaring truck. Bloody Dinkan snoring. He snores like a breed made of T-Rex and a Tata lorry. So, I finally fall asleep around 2-3 in the morning after a heavy dosage of music streamed through my faithful mobile, only to wake up at 6 with a blare of cacaphony akin to a concert by donkeys. I rub my eyes only to see Nigel (another roomie, the one getting married) has switched on the TV. Our digital TV has a fucking, bloody problem. Everytime we switch it on, the starting channel defaults to Star Plus and the volume goes to the max! It can drive you crazy and in some instances suicidal! Imagine hearing the big bellow of baritone about saas, bahu, sanskriti shit at the highest volume possible at 6 in the morning? A "must" experience I say!

Since I wake up this early, I get to office at around 8:30 and life goes on a cycle all over again, interrupted by a flurry of emails throughout the day. Emails seem to rule my bloody life now.

P.S: I will be making an appearance in the STC India Conference at Pune this December. Is there anyone here who is going to make it? (If you have no idea what I am talking about, then you are qualified to be there!)

Mallu Alert!

Being in Bangalore its not tough to run into mallus. In fact, its easier to get run over by them! That said, its much easier to recognize them to avoid problems like:
  • Being embarassed after passing lewd comments at mallu girls.
  • Being chased by mallu boyfriends/brothers after passing lewd comments at the girls. Girls in this case need not be mallu.
  • Being an ass after speaking to shopkeepers in your broken hindi only to discover them reading 'Mathrubhumi'.
    Demonstrated instance: A student sang the song 'Ek Do Teen...' in his mind to confirm the hindi for 12 while buying stuff, only to be stunned by shopkeepers response in Malayalam. That particular student currently writes awesome blog posts!
  • Being locked up by the Police for swearing in Malayalam not realizing the constable himself is a mallu.
The list is practically endless.

My roomie often boasts that he can recognize mallus at sight and he has a 100% track record. Though I was apprehensive about it, I have to say he has a 100% track record in my presence. I rather look for more subtle ways to recognise mallus. For example, we recently had to look for a key duplicating place (Bangalore is expensive. No PC or Internet, yet. Decided to be a burglar at night, since I have a lot of time at hand during night.) and we had conflicting information from everyone we asked. I found a real estate signboard. Real estate and mallus are inseparable entities. My hunch was right! Mallu man gave us the right directions. So, I also have a 100% track record with 1 out of 1 mark!

So, lets get down to an incident yesterday. After having dinner, roomie said he needed to buy a medicine. I tagged along to the medical store. Few girls had just gone in before us. Pretty ones! :D Roomie started getting a mallu vibe. He said he was sure they are mallus. Then a couple of them went to a display board showcasing private ladies stuff and started talking in Malayalam. I was in a very sadistic mode and asked loudly to my roomie in Malayalam.

"Dude. What is this medicine for?" The girls were offcolour and looking at us now.

He went a bit offcolour and whispered, "Later. Later."

I whispered back, "Tell something!"

The shop guy came back with a medicine and said, "We don't have the exact one you need. But this is the same medicine from a different company. You do know the usage right? Its a highly potent laxative."

Girls were trying hard not to giggle. I was trying hard about my escape route. Roomie was trying hard not to be mistaken with a tomato. But hey, he still maintains the 100% track record!

Saw this wonderful cartoon on Rock On!! Check it out!
Fly You Fools - Indian Web Comic about life and it's Irritations
Fly You Fools - Indian Comics about Life.

Editorial Integrity? Bah!

Rediff is becoming a haven for bad editing these days. Writing is sometimes bad, but there have been some really good articles lately, such as  The forums are filled with nothing but crap. Comment moderation is a total farce. But more importantly, there have been several severely opinionated articles gracing the front page lately. A prime example is an article on Nano and Moditva. When you click the link, this particular article appears as though its part of the news section or more specifically the Money section of Rediff News. The article is nothing but a venom spewing, right wing thrashing work from a guy who is probably a pseudo-secularist-intellectual. I have nothing against people posting their view points. But, a portal like Rediff should never take sides in sensitive issues and have some editorial integrity. Atleast, if their intentions are the same as I mentioned, it should be explicitly stated and probably a short bio of the author should be given. A news site should never appear to endorse statements and arguments which have very little merit. Just go through the article and you will grasp my point.

Where are the editors? I hope the comment moderators have not taken over the editorialship as well!


Its the end of the second week in Bangalore. Life has turned topsy-turvy. New people. New places. New me. Blogging has pretty much stopped. Got full net access from office, but there are too many tasks to be done and it doesn't feel good to blog while at work!

I live pretty near to office. Just about a walk of 3 minutes. Decided to step into office today eventhough today is a holiday on account of Vijayadashami. Nothing pressing to be done, but today being an auspicious day, I thought I would come here and do a little writing. Lots of stuff to write, but thought I would take up a pending tag. This ones from Praveen.

Here it goes

1.What have you realized recently?

I am a moron who is getting older but certainly not wiser!

2.Have you given your first kiss away?

Its still available! For free! A hug will be given as a bonus! Only ladies need apply! (a little backstory: I have been hit by too many gay men, which is very disconcerting!)

3.If you were to be stranded on a deserted island, who are the 11 blog buddies you would take?

Please put in your names if you want to come with me! Applications will be closely scrutinised and there will be testing interviews!

4.Where is the place you want to go the most?


5.If you have one dream to come true, what would it be?

I would rather not give preference to one dream. What will the other dreams feel? All my dreams have feelings you know!

6.Do you believe in seeing the rainbow after the rain?

Duh! Is it a question of faith now? I have seen it. Multiple times!

7.What are you afraid of losing the most now?

Everything I have. I live in constant fear.

8.If you win $1 million, what would you do?

A lot of things. btw acceptance of the money depends on how I win it!

9.If you meet someone that you love, would you confess to him/her?


10. What are the requirements that you wish from your other half?

Long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away...I had written another tag. I guess the same still applies. Ah, those were the days...

11.What type of people do you hate the most?

Bigots. People who split other people for their own good. Utterly selfish people.

12.What is the one thing you can’t live without?


13.If you have faults, would you rather the people around you point out to you or would you rather they keep quiet?

Frankness is good. I especially love that sinking feeling you get when people are frank with you! :-P

14.Are you a shopaholic or not?

When it comes to books. Only books. I can be a bit sophisticated when it comes to buying stuff like booze though. Get the best you can afford!

15.Find a word to describe the person who tagged you


16.If you have a chance, which part of your character you would like to change?

The part which thinks too much!

17.What’s the last shocking thing you’ve seen or heard?

ICICI Bank going bankrupt!

18.Would you rather have love but no money or money but no love?

Now that I have money, I would prefer love.

Now on to the second tag!

I have to name my top 5 addictions.

1. People. I need people around me. To talk. To fight. To share. The people I care about.
2. Writing. It keeps me sane.
3. Good Food and water. Can't live without them!
4. Music.
5. Internet.

I am not tagging anybody. Just remember that I have put a charm on this post. Been learning some black magic lately! If you don't do this tag after reading this, you will have constipation for 10 days and a flying donkey will crap on you just as the sun sets.

Thank You :)

Net has not been disconnected yet, so the previous farewell speech stands muted! This could be (hone ka sambhavana hain!) my last post for a while, so what better way than go out saying thank you!

Thanks a lot for all my team mates and colleagues in SunTec and all of my friends here. You have made my life a memorable one! I had a larger than life thanks to all of you. As my token of appreciation I request all the blog readers to observe a minute of silence, curl your little lips ala Mick Jagger, raise their couple of little hands, make horns (bend all your fingers except for the little one and the big one) and say Rock On!! Then another one especially for the video below. Thanks Arun! You rock big time man!

The One with Farewells and Awards

Life has taken yet another turn for me. I once said here that the only thing certain with my life has been uncertainty. I left my workplace last week. Moving on to new a new city and more importantly new challenges. My last days in Trivandrum have not been very good. I have been on an emotional roller coaster. I have become a nagging pain-in-the-ass for a lot of people. All because I am having a deeply unsettling feeling of leaving. After all, I loved my job, loved this place, and it was a great feeling knowing how exactly my parents fared. I still haven't sorted out a lot of things and I will be leaving on Tuesday. Feeling a little too lethargic.

Saw a couple of really good movies. Thalappaavu and Thirakatha. Will be writing on them. If you are waiting for my word to watch, then certainly go and watch. Two of the best movies in a very long time.

By the way, I have been awarded by Praveen for the Brilliant Blog. Thanks man. Really wanted to write about this, but I have no idea when I will be able to make a blog post again. I will certainly give away my set of awards that day as well.

So people, its bye bye from me for some time. Donno when I will be back. Hopefully, "Everything will now come my way", as today's fortune says in Orkut.

Just posting a couple of pictures I have taken on my mobile from Technopark, few things I will be missing:


You Are 72% Interesting

You are a fairly interesting person. Many people find you to be intriguing.

You have a dynamic, adventurous life... a life that others envy.

You are genuinely interested in and open to the world.

You love making new friends, and you're always up for an unusual experience.

Like everyone else, you can get a bit boring from time to time. That's normal.

But unlike everyone else, you can pull yourself out of a rut. You don't stay boring for long.

Are You Boring or Interesting?

Good! I always thought I was not a very interesting person! What do you people think? I think I'll gauge the number of comments to compute the, err, interest!

By the way today is my last day at SunTec. Its just 1 AM in the morning. A fairly emotional day ahead for me. Watch out for a post on past 2 years spend here.
I shouldn't be writing this post. RSI has hit me hard it seems. After around a decade of abuse, its not very surprising. But, writing unwinds me. Unleashes my demons. Makes me the rock that I am. This is damnest time to have a wave of attack as well. I am working through my nose to complete my pending tasks before I leave the company. Just 2 more days left of actual work. On top of this, I seem to have an upper back inflammation, thanks to God knows what!

May be I am just getting too old. Unfortunately, I act very immature and childish towards certain people. Should stop that. It isn't cute. It can land you in trouble. Serious trouble. Wrong people may peep into your life. You may lose your friends forever. May be I am in the process of losing one. May be I already lost one. If I do lose, consider a part of me dead. The better part. Whats left will be a shell of a man, unpredictable, uncouth and in plain words, a loser.

Funny, may arm has started to stiffen already. I still have to type pages and pages today. Speak volumes on my knowledge. All with a heavy heart. Thanks to no one but me.


Yesterday night, in my sleep I discovered the answer to one of the most pertinent questions hounding mankind since time immemorial. What happens after death? Last night, in my sleep I died. After a while I was alive. I could recall what happened when I died. But in the morning, I forgot what happened!


I have been found by the Internets! Check out below!

You Are Fraud

You will do anything to get ahead. And if you fail, you can always reinvent yourself.

You probably have a sordid past, and you're good at completely hiding it.

You find it easy to lie. No one can tell if you're lying, and lying doesn't make you feel guilty.

You think people are gullible. And you rather fool them than get fooled.


I could feel someone was looking at me. But, I didn't feel uncomfortable which I usually get if I feel I am being looked at. I turned around. I could see a pair of soft, innocent eyes looking at me. Then she smiled. The most beautiful smile ever. Her smile and her look suggested that she wanted me to go near her. As I walked towards her, she shifted her glance. Oh! The age old method of female deception! I took no note and approached. Her eyes once again transfixed on me. Mine on her. Her smile ever so beautiful. Our eyes spoke for us. Our smiles spoke for us. Then she gently caressed my cheek. I was taken aback. No one had done that it a decade or more! The soft caress grew stronger. She pinched my cheeks. I didn't feel a thing except pure bliss. She was growing in confidence, just as my anticipation did. Suddenly, in one deft move, she leaped into arms. Took my head in her hands and fiercely pulled my nose. The little brat broke into a squeal of laughter!

"She likes you.", said her mother.

I smiled. Most of the little kids do. But no one has dared to pull my nose yet!


Why is the beer bottle so slender?

I think its a deconstruction of the fact that you get a pot belly after a few beers over a period of time. Ah well, I should be taking a few sit ups! Ciao.

P.S: I should be remembering the following cartoon before I start a fight with someone. Ciao again. (toon courtesy: xkcd)

Rock On Through (to the other side)

Oh well, it was a matter of time before these started coming up. Blog posts bashing Rock On!!

I found one through Blogbharti. Blogger is a person who makes some interesting music, but he minces no words in bashing Rock On. When I say he minces no words, I don't really mean that his arguments carry any weight, or mass for that matter!

Lets take it one by one, his "claims" of plagiarism:

Look at the "Live Your Dream" headline. Notice the cool sign with wings underneath it. Looks familiar? No? Check this out.

You mean Harley Davidson? The wings with something in it has been there for a long, long time and used by several bands. Aerosmith anyone?

Check out the four band members. All of them are wearing the typical "rocker" outfits: Black T-shirts with "brutal" pictures on them, Jeans and Goggles.

Dude, all the rock bands idolise the masters. Its a typical heavy metal band costume. A lot of college bands wear these kind of stuff. If you see the movie, you will notice that this isn't exactly what they wear every time. They have got really good costumes. For stills, these kind of dress accentuates the look. A really dud, dud point.

Also, look at the dress of the Indian Ocean guy in the pic you posted. That looks very much like Ian Anderson of Jethro Tull. Check it out below.

Now what about the Fuzon guys? Modeled after the Lizard King, Jim Morrison himself, downright to the facial expression!

The movie name itself, "Rock On!!!" is nothing original, it's just a popular mode of expression if a band performs well.

How about "Big Kahuna!!" for the title? Honestly dude, you crazy? The movie is about a rock band, and you are saying "Rock On" is not a good title? Many of us know what that means and we always show the damn symbol in concerts. (Interesting Trivia: Use \m/ in latest Yahoo Messenger!) You want originality? How about, "Rann Doja!!" ? You want them to make new words for "originality" ?

And then, finally, beneath the name, is a cassette. Very Original that.

Oh! Music isn't associated with a cassette? Especially for a band that existed 10 years ago? I still remember the times I listened to Nirvana for the first time in a cassette and getting distraught because I didn't have music system at home. Cassettes mean a lot to a lot of music lovers.

No, this is not a movie review. I haven't seen the movie. Nor do I intend to.

Thats awesome! Passing comments which have no foundation what so ever in a superficial manner! Plagiarism makes you angry? Ever heard about derivative works? And yeah, for your information I plagiarised the title of this post. Go figure! Rock On, man!

I had read some posts of Rediff saying that the movie is a rip off from couple of korean movies. After reading the synopsis, I can safely say that those movies are about bands reuniting after several years, band members struggling etc etc. Inspiration might be there, but certainly not a rip off by any means. I consider movies like Zinda to be a rip off and not Rock On!!

Also, there has been talks about the band in the movie being bogus because there is no bass player in the band. If you watched the movie, the keyboard guy is introduced as the virtuoso who creates the bass lines as well. Its perfectly possible and it has been done before by one of the greatest rock bands of all time, The Doors.

Rock On!!

Just watched Rock On!! A wonderful movie. Simple storyline, exceptional music, good acting from all involved. In short a great experience. Its not (just!) about rock muic, but about friendship and relationships in general. I would give the movie 4.5/5, the same that I gave at imdb (9).

I am not going to dissect the movie, I would rather let you read the review by someone who has actually been there and done that. Check out Praveen's review.

P.S: Arjun Rampal seems to be styled after Eric Clapton of the Cream era! Check the pics below! It does remind me a lot of Clapton!

The Mosaic Tag

Decided to do this tag after reading it here.

These are the rules:

1. Type your answer to each of the questions below into Flickr Search.
2. Using only the first page, pick an image.
3. Copy and paste each of the URLs for the images into fd’s mosaic maker.

The result?

1. What is your first name?

Narayan. The first result itself was the boss of around half Indian blog world!

2. What is your favorite food? Right now?

Chakkavaratti (Jackfruit Jam). Really, really want to have it right now! Fortunately, one gentle soul was gracious enough to upload a pic!

3. What high school did you go to?

Arya Central School didn't net any results. So, I tried Arya. Look what I got. Something you would never see or dare to see there!

4. What is your favorite color?

Green. I have this strange fascination towards green things since the time I was a kid.
/looking forward to a spring green colour Dell Studio 17 lap!

That frog reminded me of the frog in a story book I had long time ago.

5. Who is your celebrity crush?

Check it out. Cute and astute woman. On a side note, dimples drive me crazy!

6. Favorite drink?

HPMC Apple Juice! Got a good picture too. That monkey has some class!

7. Dream vacation?

Go on a world cruise. Looking at the age of my co-passengers, it seems like the world cruise will be like a 90 year old guy with heart problems marrying an eighteen year old!

8. Favorite dessert?

Any ice cream would do. Chose chocolate ice cream as a tribute to my best friend :)

9. What do you want to be when you grow up?

Check out the pic! This is what I wanted to become when I was little!

10. What do you love most in life?

A lot of people. Interesting pic though! :-P

11. One Word to describe you.

Eclectic. Didnt get many good pics for such an..err...eclectic term!

12. Your flickr name.

rockusnarus. Didn't get any results, so tried rockus. Viola! Rockus Circus!

I tag everybody who reads this post! I dare! Ya rly!

Rock On!! (Music Review)

This is something I have been putting off time and time again. A cardinal sin by a rock music fan who happens to be a blogger as well! Shankar-Ehsaan-Loy once again breaks new ground with some awesome music. Last Hindi album I loved wasTaare Zameen Par. They haven't failed th yet again! There is no doubt Farhan Akhtar is a brilliant Director. But he is playing an unfamiliar dual role of the lead singer and the lead actor. The man has got some guts. Does he have the meat to carry it? Lets see!

I have been listening to the music for quite sometime now. Decided to play it in its entirety to get a feel of reviewing it.

The album opens with an awesome guitar riff. Reminds a lot of the classic guitar solos ala Jimi Hendrix. You get the hints of a different, yet rocking album. Lyrics are very different from the run of the mill Bollywood fare. Lot of English words thrown in the mix. Little existential. Even when the song is about love, it feels different. More sincere. More real. Music and lyrics are a bit raw, which has been the biggest criticism from the main stream media. But, I think suits the movie, which is about a young rock band (I haven't seen the movie, will be seeing it this week for sure!).

Reviews have been mixed, from both rock "pundits" and bolly reviewers. I will put my head on the chopping block and say that they are full of shit! Rock music is about rocking, not about Metallica or some other sell out band. Rock music is not about aping the west, go listen to Avial or Motherjane if you will. Its about human spirit, raw emotions, and guitar!

Following are my take on each song:

Socha Hai: Perfect opening. Cool Guitar riffs. Peppy yet thoughtful lyrics. Farhan has sang very well.
Pichle Saat Dinon Mein: My second favourite song (I am listening to the favourite now and its a little tough typing!) from the album. Felt very personal. Lyrics are good. Realistic to be frank. A good romantic song. Farhan is good once again.
Rock On: Frankly speaking, this is a rather weak song in comparison with the others. The title track should have been little more "rocking". Still, this is a good song. Well worth your time.
Yeh Tumhari Meri Baatein: My favourite. Trance inducing, surreal vocals by Dominique Cerejo. Exceptional music and beautiful lyrics. I think this is the first time I am hearing her sing. I really wish sings more songs of these kind. I wish there were more girl fronted rock bands. Girls and rock music are simply mindblowing (no pun intended)!
Zehreelay: When I heard it the first time, my eyes nearly popped out. Heavy metal Hindi song which is not only bearable but fucking cool! To be frank I have heard very few Hindi rock/metal songs, still this I believe is a trailblazer. I have to say it sounds a lot like Pantera on steroids. The song resembles classic Pantera songs like Walk and Cowboys from Hell. Groovy guitar and harsh vocals, with a guitar solo in the middle. Makes sense, since nearly all local bands worship Pantera. The lyrics also made sense at multiple levels. Although it is a little offensive to snakes! "Sabko saamp dusthe hain!" Poor snakes! What did they do?
Tum Ho Toh: Rock ballad. Good one. Farhan has really strained a lot to sing this.
Sinbad The Sailor: Tale of Sinbad. Never get to gets hear these kind of tales told in a Hindi song. Excellent music. Fantastic guitar solo. Good use of the keyboard. I need to listen to this more often! The song merges into Tum Ho Toh at a faster pace towards the end, which is pretty cool!
Pichle Saat Dinon Mein (Live Version): To be honest, I haven't listened to this one much. Feels like a real concert song. Excellent jam of the original.
Phir Dekhiye: Another neglected song. Deserves more playtime. Good one with great vocals by Caralisa Monteiro(?).

Final Thoughts: I would give the album 4.5/5 in the normal course. Since, this one is a trailblazer I would give it a 5/5, for the risk and effort!

Wait for movie review later in the week!

Alibaba and Country Thieves

Country in this context means the nation and not nincompoops like you! On to the topic. Just check out the map below. A horribly mutilated India.

Can anybody guess from where did this originate?

If you said China, you are dead on! Its from the India home page of the premier chinese e-commerce/auction company

I wonder whether the same is kept in the CPI(M) offices across the country! I believe this would be kept in Prakash Karats diary at the least!

Info from

Aakashagopurum: Castle in the Air!

Castle in the Air indeed! I would really like to write that it is an imaginary piece of indulgent crap by K P Kumaran. But in reality, its just crap. Let me spell it again CRAP.

One might ask, "Why so serious, Rockus?" Why am I serious? I had high hopes on this movie. I thought K P Kumaran was a serious (may be a bit indulgent) filmmaker with talent. Mohanlal is my favourite actor (across all languages). I was enthused by the quality team behind the movie (music by John Altman and camera by Santosh Thundiyil). I was awed by some brilliant promos and trailers. All done to death by some horrible writing and direction.

The movie starts of with some picturesque shots and some beautiful music. First scene is pretty good. Your spirits are up. Then as the subsequent scenes follow, you smell a rat and get a sinking feeling. After 10-15 minutes, you realise its hopeless.

Let me make it clear, the base story is terrific. Based on 'The Master Builder', a play by the Norweigian playwright Henrik Ibsen. From what I gather, the original play is a brilliant enquiry into human nature and inner demons faced by a successful man. What the movie ultimately transpires into is a mindless piece of crap. A word by word translation of the play into Malayalam. It does not feel like a movie at all, rather a play in some exotic locales. The dialogues are rubbish. No malayalee in the world speaks like this. Performers are helpless as the direction is clueless! Cardinal sin, since the movie boasts of awesome artistes like Mohanlal, Manoj K Jayan, Bharath Gopi, and Sreenivasan. The movie is devoid of the Director's art, which ultimately makes a movie watchable.

There are good points, though very few. Actors fit into the roles pretty well. Music is great. Camera work is breathtaking. The new girl Nitya is awesome. Looks damn beautiful and doesn't pale in the company of an actor like Mohanlal in terms of screen presence. She is a treat to watch and she is hot. She looks terrific. Yeah, yeah, she is my latest screen babe crush! :-P

Watch the movie for the visuals and Nitya. Nothing else matters.

Okay, first we shall go through what exactly is the blog title. It may not be visible to you. If its not thank the web standards for that. If it does and makes no sense to you, thank your below par English skills. /Mean Smug Asshole (MSA) look

Its an Interrobang. Check the link for more details. For you simpletons who cannot read more than a few sentences, it is an exclamation mark useful in places like 'What the fuck !?' /MSA look

Now, what does this obsolete English jargon has to do with me? I will be moving away from home pretty soon and was having a long idle chat with my mother. For her I am a near six foot toddler, who weighs around 200 pounds! So I shall not embarrass myself by providing the entire transcript. This stage of the talk involved around my journeys to (from) home.

She: I have heard that the air buses provide ample opportunities for boys and girls to do obscene things.

Me: Really??? Never seen that. Will travel only on buses from now on. Let me see if it happens to me! (Confession: Secretly wishing that. Bus journeys are so damn boring when its 18 hours long and the meatheads are hell bent on playing some idiotic Tamil movie!)

She: (Looking at me reproachfully.) I have seen that. While I went to Kasargod...

Me: Aha! Train! Its a train! So I will come by train!

She: (Looking at rather scornfully.) Yeah, yeah. Its a train. (Narrates the incident, which involved pretty indecent stuff to be done in a train. Shame on them!)

Me: Hmmm. (A little shaken.)

She: Its really tough to get a good wife these days. Who knows what girls are upto these days!

Me: Hmmm. (Slowly starts to get up. Knows which way discussions would go, which would end when I start yelling!)

She: I have an idea! You should start taking Thingalazcha Vratham (Monday Fasting)* from now on. Hopefully it would get you a good wife and make you have an exulting personality in front of ladies. /MSA look replaced by a Don't Want to Show My Face (DWSMF) look


(Seriously contemplating that now! Minor part being scared shit and major part being trying to control a rather reckless lifestyle. Convenient too. I never drink on Mondays! Who am I kidding? By the time I stop contemplating and start doing, my kids would be married!)

* The link says its done by women; but its also applicable, though rarely practised by men.

Just decided to ramble on and on. May be I will find the answer to the ultimate question through just rambling on and on. But what about the ultimate question itself? Ultimate answer is said to be 42. But what is the ultimate question? I hope we soon find out. Otherwise you will die reading this and I will extract your spirit. Then consume it to the prolong my madness. If that sounds like a death eater, you are probably potterphilic and that frankly sounds a bit perversive. Reminds of a fan art I saw with Harry and Hagrid in a rather compromising situation. That is a mild word since I want to make my blog as family friendly as possible. But that doesn't mean I give a shit about people who censor words like fuck!

Oh! Lesson learnt. Don't unleash yourself while you are listening to Syd Barrett. If you want to make any sense about what I just wrote, check the following links.

Answer to the Ultimate Question
Ultimate Question
Death Eater
Seven Dirty Words (if you are really interested!)

Title blatantly stolen from the Paolo Coelho book Like the Flowing River.

Playing it Cold

Hectic, hectic day to say the least. Will be the same the entire week and probably the weekend too. Day dreams are kind of far away now. Reality seems to be taking over me. To be frank it doesn't feel good at all! Its sort of like I have lost my passion and playing it cold. Longing for warmth and some fire to ignite my innards.

Fell in love with the Coldplay song Yes. Strangely soothing. Its about emotional and physical longing. About being tired of the creepy loneliness. Creepy in the sense, you have a dark void in spite of having people around you. Somehow the song makes a lot of sense. The lyrics are a dead giveaway, but more importantly the music itself. The chanty vocals and the oriental bridges blended with some soothing guitar. My favourite song from Viva La Vida, the new album.

A short preview courtesy of imeem.

When it started, we had high hopes
Now my back's on the line, my back's on the ropes
When it started, we were alright
But night makes a fool of us in the daylight

There we were dying of frustration
Singing, 'Lord lead me not into temptation'
But it's not easy when she turns you on
Sin, stay gone

If you'd only, if you'd only say yes
Whether you will's anybody's guess
God, only God knows I'm trying my best
But I'm just so tired of this loneliness

So, up they picked me by the big toe
I was held from the rooftop, then they let go
Dizzily screaming, 'Let the windows down'
As I crawl to the ground

If you'd only, if you'd only say yes
Whether you will's anybody's guess
God, only God knows she won't let me rest
But I'm just so tired of this loneliness
I've become so tired of this loneliness

Speaking of!

Why do I go through this phase over and over again? Sitting and doing nothing productive and going all blues!

Stopped writing after the above lines and does something "productive" finally. Some piracy. Aaarrr, matey!

Speaking of piracy. I was thinking of writing about the music of Rock On!!, a music CD I actually purchased! Someday, someday...soon.

Speaking of reviews, I am still to write about Dark Knight, Mummy III, Chronicles of Narnia (The books and not the movies. Soon Resmi, really soon!)

Speaking of movies, I need to categorise the movie collection and buy a good CD/DVD album like pack. Soon...really soon.

Speaking of CDs and DVDs, I should be working on some workaround to watch Taare Zameen Par DVD. It cost me frigging 500 bucks! Damn thing won't run on Linux and thats all I use. /elitist smug look

Speaking of elitist smugs, I should be working on some new story material and start polishing old ones. Working means actually writing a couple!

Speaking of stories, I should be reading the third Chronicles of Narnia (The Horse and his Boy) book, listening to some, hmmm lemme see Coldplay. Their new album sounds great and has started to grow on me.

Speaking of growing up, I saw Speed Racer (the movie) and loved it. Reviewers said only viewers under 10 would like the idiocy! So I need to grow up, I guess! Anyways, Go Speed Racer, Go Speed Racer, Go Speed Racer, Go!

Speaking of going, I really should be going and read that book while listening to music. /elitist smug look

Media Bias!

American media like most other media is a prejudiced lot, but several degrees higher. Usually I get to read about the bias through Digg, Reddit etc, but just experienced it on MSNBC.

Check out the picture story about Russia-Georgia conflict. Wonderfully done. Enough to get the readers pulse working. But, think a little more and you will see that it is deeply biased. Totally demonising the Russians. No signs of the genocidal crimes committed by Georgia on South Ossetia.
Wow! Never thought that old boy Kafka was a fun guy! I read Kafka's Metamorphosis and became a fan of his morbid visions of humanity. For me, he came out as this depressed guy. I guessed the reason was his tuberculosis.

Apparently not! The man had a stash of all sorts of hardcore porn! Some of which beyond the acceptable "norms"! Check it out!

Got this from Boing Boing. Check it out for the cool book cover!
Happy time folkses! George Orwell has decided to blog! If you do not know who he is, go hang yourself upside down from a neem tree! Hint: Animal Farm and 1984.

The Orwell Prize has decided to mark 70th anniversary of George Orwell's diary by publishing them on a blog exactly 70 years after each entry. It will be exciting to read the insights and interests of this genius. The first entry is up. Its about catching a snake. Check it out.

The Callback

He could hear the bell ring, ring, and ring. No answer. He felt all alone. Questions raged his mind. Did something untoward happen? It was getting really dark. Clouds had gobbled the moon with a wet hunger. Murky darkness fed his frenzy.

How could he be sure that everything is alright? It was the 4th day without answer. Did something else happen? Suddenly he became hated? He thought back. He could not see any reason. May be he doesn't remember. Was he that forgetful? May be he was schizophrenic. He did things beyond his control. Things he couldn't remember later.

He checked his phone. Relieved, to see the call times at the exact times as he had remembered. Short lived was the relief. What if he deleted those call logs? What if he went out and made a call from a coin box? He found the second option to be astoundingly absurd. By correlation he deducted the first as well. What was wrong? Why wasn't there a call back?

He decided he was thinking too much. As always. As its always said. But there should have been a call back. Shouldn't there? Last time it was legit. He wished it was never legit. Too scary to even think. Anyway, thank god nothing untoward happened. He reminded himself to stop thinking. The part of him who said that got an almighty jolt on his face.

The other part sneered, "Your face? You don't have one!"

The good part retorted, "Then how come you are sneering?"

"Ah! The classic yin-yang. This ought to be good!", the unified consciousness remarked.

Yin and Yang bowed to UC. The tirade started. UC watched on.

"All he wanted to do was stop thinking. And look where he is now", remarked UC.

Yin and Yang were literally going at each other with the merits and demerits of everything in existence. Everything that concerned him. And everything that didn't.

"Poor man. Living with three personalities. No wonder he turned out like this.", UC was getting bored by Yin and Yang.

"Wrong UC. Wrong!" UC turned to find the speaker. It was Fear.

"Awake, Fear?", UC asked.

"Had to. He is having hell of a time. Will probably kick me out now. He has started talking to that drunk man. Charm will be coming immediately and we never mix when drinks are around.", Fear said as he got ready to make an exit. "And yes.", Fear stopped. "When you count, count Pervert in. He is my best buddy."

"I am supposed to be in control of all of them. Yin, Yang, Fear, Pervert, Charm, Courage, and all the others he seem to harbour. Yet, I am never. He is so much in deficit of tactics that he never let me unify his consiousness. Will he survive?", UC started to lament as he tried desperately to pull the strings of consiousness.

The night sky started to clear. He looked up. He could see a couple of stars. He couldnt remember whether it was a shooting star or a star which when seen would grant a wish. He admonished himself for not looking it up earlier itself. He wished anyway. Never heard of a wish not coming true by wishing on the wrong star. He wished the same as always and wondered whether selfish wishes came true. He consoled himself that wishes wouldnt be wishes unless they were selfish.

He felt a drop of water on his face. Rain? The sky was clear enough. Dewdrops? Probably. He was walking underneath big trees anyway. Another talk struck him. Batpiss? Do Bats piss? Will he turn to Batman? He would like that. If only for the riches and cool gadget labs. Another drop fell. He glanced above. He could see a tiny cloud. It was not unified. It drifted as away as it could from the big clouds. It would die out before daybreak. He could hear it sing. A mournful song. A cheerful song.

Alone I float,
But above all others.
Spare me a thought,
But don't cry me rivers.

Effervescent I may be,
Chanceless to witness the dawn.
But reflectant never me,
That moment I would be gone.

I may shake and shiver,
With every wind and gale.
No less I am a giver,
Than the ones like a whale.

Today I live,
Tomorow I will not see.
Merrily I decline the reprieve,
Extension for a life with no glee.

He felt happy. Contented. His Unified Consiousness finally found the answer. Now UC started to worry about the question.

UC remembered the magic words. "You think too much." Suddenly UC felt a jolt. The daily jolt as he drifted into sleep. UC had little time to rest before the battles began. Battles with demons. UC wondered what was in store that day.

Need a Title!

A little poem I typed in my mobile phone while I was in Ahmedabad. Typically short so that my fingers wouldn't get tired by tapping! This was inspired by several things in my life, but was catalysed after seeing a vegetable salesman pushing his kart at a blistering speed through the streets of Ahmedabad. He was nearly travelling on his cart! I would like to have a good title. Please suggest!

Knock I knock on this closed door,
Wish I do once it does gore.
Know I do then it wont go ajar,
For then and on for eons afar.

Minds are to be won at times with a fight,
And may take my juice and might,
Fight on I will with no rest,
Until I make a sire from the guest.

Yearn I may for things I love,
But never bow myself down and grove,
March on I will to get whats mine,
Up and around even when the stars start shine.

Pride and Prejudice

A few months back, I happened to see a best personality contest conducted by SCT College. The contest was nothing home to write about. The questions were vulgar, answers extremely vulgar. It was supposed to be funny. Why do people have to equate wittiness or comedy with vulgarity every single time? That in itself was very embarrassing to see. If people with the best personality came out like this, then God help us!

There was one particular question that was mind boggling. The answers more than the question.

Q: Imagine you are with a gay trapped inside a lift. What will you do?

A1 (a lady): I will use my umbrella to hit him on the head.

A2 (a gentleman): I will say to him, "Look dude! Stay where you are. Any stupid moves or I will kick your ass!"

A3 (another lady): I will call out for help!

Others answers were more or less in the same notes.

Incredible answers! Its so painful to hear such bigotry from the so-called best personalities.

Homosexuality is dreaded by our society. Much more than drugs, alcohol, or tobacco. Recently I came across a news article. Psychologists raking in moolah out of 'curing' homosexuality. Whether its a disease is an incredulous question in itself, but the cure was barbaric to say the least.

The treatment involved showing the person nude pictures of men and women. When pictures of men came, the doctor gives quite a high voltage shock, regardless of whether the person is aroused or not. No shock while he is flashed with nude girl pics. Its like teaching a person whats right and whats wrong. First of all the procedure reminds me a lot of the movie A Clockwork Orange (must see picture by Stanley Kubrick). Second thing was that, can a person have an arousal while a doctor is staring intently while you check out a nude pic? Not me!

Its said that Indian Penal Code in itself is against gays. As far as I know it prohibits unnatural sexual intercourses. That would mean that all a lot of the couples (regardless of homo/hetro) will be guilty! Laws need to be modified to accommodate changing times, else we will be stuck up with our old ways unnecessarily harassing innocent people.

There are people who say homosexuality is against nature and will be eradicated by evolution. Well, evolution has not eradicated it for the past several hundred thousand year! Neither is this antinatural nor is this a new phenomenon. Check the Hindu scriptures and for once think logically and not literally.

There are several misconceptions in place: Gays talk and walk in a feminine way ala Chandupottu, gays are always on the lookout for "victims", gays will crossdress if given an opportunity and so on. There are a lot of people of both sexes who lead a life undercover. Once I was profile storming through Orkut and came upon a profile a gay person in Trivandrum. What caught my eye was the community "Gay Trivandrum". That opened the floodgates. I discovered many, many communities. But, in the end all most of these communities or rather a few members, do is to alienate the general public. Almost all the posts where advertisements for gigolos offering "top" and "bottom" (I honestly have no idea what that lingo means). No scope to discover any Brokeback Mountain there!

Perverts exist in the society regardless of their sexual orientation. Gay community as such faces the problem of too many people hiding behind the curtains, which makes the entire community look bad due to a few perverts. It would take the really bold step of coming out by the closet homosexuals to start the move towards the mainstream. (A small trivia, Karan Johar is gay according to a lot of unreliable gossip machines. Even if he comes out and says he is gay, he still sucks!)

A solution to the problem? At the current disposition of people towards homosexuality, they will be telling to implement the Final Solution! In order for the people to change, they have to be educated. It will be a (painfully) slow process. We should make sure that the coming generations don't turn out as homophobics. Educating them through proper channel will be an impossible task given our social setup. Education through properly researched literature, music, movies etc seems to be the way to go.

A gay/lesbian pride parade was held in India on June 29. A really huge step for the community. Check this blog for pics and more information.