Confessions of a Dangerous Mind

My last night at home for what has been a really long sick leave. Visited a friend and her baby today. Its only when she teased that I realised I had a break nearly equivalent to a maternity leave! Though I was dying to get back, now I am not so sure! May be its because the departure is mere hours away. Two months of being pampered by your parents and not doing any chores whatsoever! It would have been heaven if I knew I didn't have any terminal disease! From day after tomorrow I can look forward to a call from my mother thrice a day reminding me to have my medicine. Mothers! In the last 2-3 weeks I have been hanging around with little kids. Such a joy to be with them! Sample snippet of conversation between me and a 5 year cousin. Premise: A temple. Really good one at that. Very peaceful. Lots of space. Best part: Lots of sand! She: Which God is this? We were near the Lord Sastha shrine. Me: Shastha. (It was written Shastha there and she didn't see that.) She: Who is tha...

I have not been in best of health since last week. Sudden temperature fluctuations coupled with nausea spells have made life pretty miserable. I drift towards morbid thoughts in these times. My remedial measures for such thoughts? Gross out others with these thoughts! Me: All my innards are melted! Neo gives me a puzzled look. Me: I am dying! Neo: Is there anything new? I am trying to watch this programme. kthnxbye! Me: You will see my dead body in the morning!' Neo: Don't give hope! Me: You will see my body hanging from this fan when you wake up! Neo: Won't be a pretty sight. Especially since you don't wear a lungi with no underwear. Me: Directly over you. Hanging. You know what people do when they are hanged? Neo: They die? Me: They shit. Now imagine being awakened by some warm sludge on your body. Neo is gagging. Me: I wonder if there is a dead wood like morning wood . If thats so, then it would be scene that would mentally scar you for life...

The last post was number 490 according to Blogger. 4+9+0=13! The bloody number strikes again for me! My dislike for 13 (rather the vice versa) is well documented and I refuse to elaborate! The sentimental post I did couple of days back on going to Goa. Read it? Well...the trip didn't happen! It would be fair to say it almost happened! Nearly a 100 KM away from Goa, mother nature decided to intervene and shut us down for good! We were stuck in some god forsaken place. Lucky for us, the halt was made near a drive-in restaurant and food was plenty! But being stuck in a bus for a whole day ain't fun, especially if its pelting dogs, cats, and a few other animals! To cut a sorry story short, we reached back in Bangalore on Satuday morning instead of Goa on Friday morning, after starting from Bangalore on Thursday night! We drowned our sorrows in Friday night. I have this allergic reaction which has forced me to abandon my hell-bent-for-leather attitude to drowning sorrows, so I...

Photo taken in some cathedral in Goa. September 2005. God! Time does fly fucking fast! Can't believe its been 4 years since this snap been taken! We are going back to Goa. Friday through Sunday, days hopefully filled with fun and frolic. 2 dudes in the picture won't make it, several others will. I think its pretty commendable that we are still very good friends after leaving the college and being in different cities/companies. All of us have changed in some way or the other over the years. Some subtle changes, some not so subtle. I always think of a group of friends as chain. Each of us may not be the closest confidant of every other person. But each one is a closest confidant of somebody who is the closest confidant of another. Confusing? Relationships always are. Except may be the blood related ones. Years back, we had very few baggages to carry. We were more free in speech and actions. The years have added many baggages and I doubt each of us are completely at ease...

Lonngfellow (LW) has been utterly devastated by his lack of technical know-how after spending a good couple of years being a solutions engineer. He is determined to learn and make a case for a seat in the highest echelons of geekhood. What does that mean? My net browsing is limited on my phone (yay wifi!) for a long period on an off day. LW has suitably tired after an exhausting study session. I am gobbling down some delicious Fish Biriyaani courtesy LW, who got me a parcel since I was on a long work call. Delicious I tell you! The best biriyaani in Continental Spice has to be Fish Biriyani. Mutton is a definite no-no, Chicken is kind of so-s0. Back to LW and his research. "Aaayaaeeiii", bellows LW. I honestly cannot decipher this. He makes this noise when he is bored or amused. LW opens Google. Takes images. Types sh. " Shakeela ?", I suggest helpfully, so does Google. LW smirks, "No one can beat Shriya !" Types in, hits enter, and ogles at th...

Weekends typically starts of on a desperate note. The wake up call is usually either one of the following: a) Nature calls. Calls me an asshole and warns me of dire consequences if I don't enter the loo within seconds. b) Stomach calls. Calls me with a growl. Need some food. Or if you really want your oesophagus for brunch... If its point a, the level desperation may heighten if the bathrooms aren't free. If its point b, all that I do is wake up and after a couple of hours head out to have lunch. Oh! The wakeup time is 11-12 by the way! Friday night included a very heavy dinner with lots of beer thanks to having no breakfast and virtually no lunch. Wakeup call at 9 this Saturday. My mom's friend was in Bangalore visiting her son. Invite to lunch on Sunday. Lunch invites are gleefully accepted these days since I am really fed up of eating mediocre food. Great food is available at the cost of a very long walk and rather high price. I ended up not going as laziness took over m...

The nicest guy in this world, Pappu, was gracious enough to bless us fellow roomies with a visit. He just came from a sabbatical in North India and looked visibly tired. Should eat your vegetables man! You look pale! I don't know how you are going to manage without us in Canada. We, especially me, would be glad to take care of you. After all you are our Pappu. No, you going to Canada doesn't make a change. Eventhough I have abused (in a strictly non-sexual way!) you, it was all out of my love (again, strictly stoic!) for you man. You rock! Arrival of Pappu heralded a new dawn of 'spirits' in us. We kept on racking our brains for a place perfect for Pappu and in the end had to stick with our old and faithful place. Purple haze all around us... The next day Garfield wakes up. Pulls the blanket over his head with the little paws to keep the noon sun out of his eyes. He hears Neo talking. "Who the fuck poured water from the stairs at night? When I shouted. He just ran ...

Okay! As I had PPSed in the last post, we have started jogging! 'We' means me and three other roomies. Another is being a bourgeois and mocking us. Man, see you after we develop 6 packs out of the one big sack! Cry your hear out then! We started on a Sunday morning. 7:30. Late? Not by the standards of folkses who wakes up at 11 on a Sunday! Moreover, I felt an urgent need to educate my friend regarding the nature of a typical Indian and intolerance that exists among our people the night before that. After my rhetoric was over it was nearly 3. Anywho, we started towards the park. Walking. Some nasty dogs around our place. Didn't want to disturb their romantic antics. More on the dogs later. When we reached the park we found some construction going on there. Bad omen? We jogged towards another park. Pretty girl alert. We stopped. Panting like dogs. Not good. Started jogging away as fast as possible. "How many rounds are we going to run?", asked JC. "Me thinking...

Wake up everyday, Make the dash to get the pay. Outside I watch the dogs, Reveling their mention in the blogs. Then I ask the juice man, Make it grapes today I am in a run, Obliges he chats up, About all happenings and stuff. I gulp down the liquid and nods to his rant, Discuss what to do about the slant. Off to the roads daring my life, One of these days I'll be in a strife. Drivers go about like its their last day, Murderous looks they give as if in a play. Somehow reach the other side, Watch the pretty ladies wondering they up for a ride. Admonish self for the lust, Lure of Asmodeus overcomes lest.

Title alludes to a brilliant song by The Smiths. You can find it at the bottom of this post. A brilliant song about a loser, single guy. I hope it makes sense at the end of the post as well. I never thought seriously about getting married. Thought, yes. Thought like what would I be doing if a bunch of cannibals caught me and put in a big cauldron to make a stew. Nothing concrete. But me in a distant land (any place 10 KM from home is distant!) seems to ring alarm bells in my parents' head. Fortunately, I am blessed to have a nice cousin, who is a self-proclaimed romeo and working in the film industry, dilly-dallying with the babes. Furthermore, he is a certified flirt machine by the family. So the attention is on him and everyone's scared he would land a babe unacceptable to the family. Right now, I have successfully thwarted all the advances my parents made regarding a couple of proposals by the following rebuttals: 1. I am too young! 2. I won't do anything stupid! 3. I ca...

Long and devious rant ahead. Before further ado let me say that the title of this post has been shamelessly ripped from a cool movie Run Lola Run . Hmm...may be I will watch it tonight...expose Dinkan (my roomie) to yet another torturous past time of mine. I have already started the slow poison method by putting on some "acceptable" music at midnight (ala Rock On, Avial, Rabbi), which will gradually graduate to Metallica, Iron Maiden etc. Another change I have induced in almost all my roomies is reading. One guy refused to change. So we kicked him out of the house. He decided to go one up on us and get married next week. Poor dude. (P.S: All the best!) The reading material ranges from "Men are mars, Women are from venus" to "The White Tiger" with "Alchemist" and "Colour of Magic" thrown in. (P.S:Note to self. Should read the three unread books. Its a matter of shame now!) Another important change is that a couple of them have changed to...

Being in Bangalore its not tough to run into mallus. In fact, its easier to get run over by them! That said, its much easier to recognize them to avoid problems like: Being embarassed after passing lewd comments at mallu girls. Being chased by mallu boyfriends/brothers after passing lewd comments at the girls. Girls in this case need not be mallu. Being an ass after speaking to shopkeepers in your broken hindi only to discover them reading 'Mathrubhumi'. Demonstrated instance: A student sang the song 'Ek Do Teen...' in his mind to confirm the hindi for 12 while buying stuff, only to be stunned by shopkeepers response in Malayalam. That particular student currently writes awesome blog posts! Being locked up by the Police for swearing in Malayalam not realizing the constable himself is a mallu. The list is practically endless. My roomie often boasts that he can recognize mallus at sight and he has a 100% track record. Though I was apprehensive about it, I have to say he h...