Evolution

Once upon a time I was obsessed with turning back time. To undo the bad things. To study well for that exam. To do things I should have done. Heck, I was a Backstreet Boys fan who loved the 'sublime' lyrics, "Oh I wish I could...Turn back time..." from the song Quit Playing Games! Over time, it finally dawned to me that I had to take ownership of my actions and my decisions. I think I became a better person ever since then. Still, my mind has its own reign and does things due to which I end up suffering. A suffering on the maximum scale. The pain which accentuates when you are alone or when some triggers appear. All these makes me believe in yesterday...Sometimes I simply want to live in yesterday...Basking in the pleasure of having your best around you...

So far, I have been successful turning a fairly nostalgic tag into a sentimental crap. So without further interruption, lets get on to it.

Crusader has tagged me. Similar to an old tag I did before.

Two questions from the past, present and future. Answer them and then
tag your friends from the blog-o-sphere. Leave a comment on their blog
letting them know they have been tagged and you are all set.

Yesterday

- Your oldest memories


I have a large collection of baby pictures which will put all who put theirs into shame. I was supposedly the cutest and most well behaved baby in town! I can confirm the cutest part from the pics. Unfortunately, I have never scanned them. So you will have to use your imagination!

Now to the oldest memory.

I was around 3. My dad had an old Jawa bike. We used to go to his native place in that. Me, mom, and dad. A long ride of around 36 KM one way. It was the Onam time. Suddenly, some monsters appeared out of no where and I started crying. My dad and mom comforts barely able to stifle their smiles. Apparently the monsters were the Kariyila veshams you see during Onam time. Man! I really need to see my parents now! :-(

- What were you doing ten years ago?

I was 14, in 9th standard. Struggling to keep up my reputation as a geek. Staring at the curves of the first girl I looked from an adolescent, adrenaline pumped point of view. Reading Sidney Sheldon novels purely for the masala point of view. In short, a pervert in making.

Today

Working in a job which I love. Pondering what to do with my life. Scared about my future. Lamenting on my losses. Disinterested in my gains.

Tomorrow

Have some urgent work to finish. Talk to many people to finalize things at work. Look for tickets to go home. Work on reservations for a conference next month. Clear my Airtel connection issues.

What do you see yourself doing 14 years from now?

Ideal Scenario:

Widely travelled both physically and mentally. Happily married to a great woman. Couple of good kids. Working on my terms, probably being a successful consultant or a writer or both! Lots of fun outings with my friends and family.

Dark and Depressing Scenario:

Broken and bitter with life. Reeling in a bad marriage, with kids scarred due to the bad home atmosphere. Working a shitty job. Ignored by everybody and dismissed as a "never been".

Writing about the former makes me even more scared!

If you build a time capsule what would it contain?

Memories...all of them...My mind commentary on each and every one, just like Director's commentary in a DVD.

I tag: If there is anyone left, this one is for you!

Crap! I think I have turned this into snooze fest!

3 comments:

kartoos said...

Your bad mood ideas seems to be even better than my good mood ones. Pessimism is relative i guess.

Praveen said...

"I have a large collection of baby pictures which will put all who put theirs into shame."
hahaha...and u linked to my page...how dare u:P..
let me see that pic which will put mine to shame...;)
ennodu kalichaal ariyallo...pandu ownere adicha vadi ippolum kayyil undu:D


anyway..a slightly depressing post..
liked the way u split up the future into 2..quite funny:D

Rockus said...

@kartoos: Pessimism is relative, but my bad mood need not always take over my cynical self!

@praveen: Bring me a scanner and ill take up a duel!

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