Confessions of a Dangerous Mind

2 months...Its been nearly two months since I got locked up with whatever-this-bloody-thing. No immediate sight of respite as well. Tests followed by tests, medicines by the shit load, work life hitting rock bottom...have I seen the floor yet? The whole ordeal has started show the effect on me. Suddenly feel like a teenager all over again! Flaring up at every single syllable of my parents. Utter disdain for every body I see. The sheer helplessness of the time being wasted away with no clarity. The worse thing. More test results are forthcoming and I think there will be more tests after that! When I wanted to be a test player, I didn't mean this! The only respite is reading. Need to call up my roomie to fetch my books from Bangalore. I have burning money on new books when several dozen sitting unread back there in my shelf! Another welcome diversion has been the game Torchlight . Got it for 10 bucks in Steam and the best purchase I ever made! Totally awesome game. Diablo like...

I have an Outbrain widget on the blog. The one that allows you to click and rate the post. Very same thing people barely use! It pays for itself by inserting contextual links to posts outside the blog. Look at the link that came along with my last post: Vaginal Health: Why Do I Have Watery Discharge? A truly WTF moment! It is pretty much contextual when you think about it. The post starts with a fuck and I guess its pretty much related. Hmm...most of the time at least you pervs! If you dig deeper, its even more intelligent! I have referenced the movie Paleri Manikyam: Oru paathirakolapathikathinte katha. The movie deals with the first (fictional) rape-murder in unified Kerala! Very relevant unless you have very different taste! I should stop before I turn this post into an innuendo fueled fuck fest! Two days on and I can't sleep! I went to bed early. Switched off my laptop so that I don't get up in the middle of the night to check upon mails that never were.Slept for somet...

Fuck! A bloody weekend and I cannot sleep! I should be sleeping late into the day, lazily shielding myself from the greenish glare of the sun. Greenish thanks to my curtains, which I chose and absolutely adore! Feeling a little bad about leaving to Bangalore. Its been one and a half months at home and will be two by the time I leave. Of course, everything depends on whether the Hepatitis virus manages to leave me! If I am really lucky, I could be suffering from pancreatic cancer or a rare form of liver cancer. The perils of information overload! If I stay awake for 10 more minutes, the Pakistan-New Zealand test match will start. Watching the pakis getting pawned is sadistically uplifting! A little while later Cricket Revolution will be done downloading and I can start playing it! A neat game! You can play all sorts of shots unlike the usual hit and giggle in EA Cricket. I guess I will listen to some music on Spotify . Installed it using a UK proxy. Works like a charm! Awesome on-dema...

Getting more and more disillusioned by the world. Where the fuck is my passion? Everyday I see a little toddler play near our home. The little guy is so happy. Merrily chasing the very dog who snarl and chase me at night. Playing with the stones stacked by public works. Throwing stones at will. Still too small to inflict any serious damage. Lots of people to carry him around when his little feet get tired. Run around naked without inducing cringe but lots adoration. Sleep at any desirable time. Still cannot understand the shitty world he has born into. So damn beneficial. I wish I could be him. I wish I could travel back through time to 1986. Stay there forever. As a seeker of knowledge I wish I never knew the things I know. Better still, know nothing at all. Sometimes innocence is in ignorance.