Today, err, yesterday (its 12:21 AM now!) I happened to get to Zee TV while channel surfing. I don’t watch these shit but Asianet seems to have jumbled the order and Zee TV resides in the position of VH1, my favourite channel. I was lucky to chance upon there or I would have missed a wonderful spectacle which would last a lifetime! It was a movie climax, the hero is someone I have no idea of and the lead lady seems familiar but can’t exactly point who she is. Anyway to our spectacle.
Imagine this situation:
Hero is hanging by his fingertips (nails?) at a height of about 250 metres (a 50 storey building).
Where exactly? The ledge?
Nope! There is a rope, yup a white fibre rope I double checked, hanging from the top floor one huge building to another attached to poles. The buildings are incidentally some 200m apart.
What is the use of that rope? Hang Clothes??? And how did they put it?
Next: There is cute 3 year old girl hanging on to our hero’s back crying! Talk about the edge of cuteness…
It does not stop there: There is a big snake, a big cobra moving towards our hero through the rope!!! What the fuck? Talk about bad luck striking you!
And our hero seems to be stuck and he is bleeding a lot.
This is the situation when I started watching…Amused, I decided to watch on…
A massive crowd is gathered, like ants from our hero’s position (remember the height!)…
People are watching excitedly from flat windows. Strange, only young couples seem to be there…hmmm
The girl suddenly slips from our hero’s shoulder and hangs by his boots! A lady collapses in the flat! People are screaming… Our fair lady is calling some other guy to come and watch the spectacle instead of calling fire force! She is the mother but behaves as if she is a news crazed journalist.
Our hero trying to get the girl back, the snake inching towards him….and now the pole seems to be loose! Oh My God!!!
Our hero seems to have developed prehensile limbs like that of a gorilla and has taken the girl from his boots to his arms in one swoop while hanging on with his second forelimb. A good investment for India in the Olympics?
The snake is nearing, crowds are screaming, hero is twitching, poles are straining and I am gagging with laughter and disbelief…
Snake is near at an armshot, our hero shakes the rope so much that the snake falls to the ground…People cheer but alas the pole breaks…
BTW the fire force had come with their longest ladder and found it to be a couple of miles short. They had spread a big fishing net for our hero to break his fall.
Ya, the pole broke. Like Spiderman our hero swings with the falling rope and barges straight into the bed of yet another couple saying, “Screw your fishing net you fire morons!”
Now the crowd gets some sticks and comes to kill the snake. Poor snake! It has been thrown straight into a spiked wall and is almost dead. Our hero comes and says some mambo jambo. Suddenly the snake is transformed into a hot chick!
Apparently the chick was dissed by our goody two shoes hero and she sought revenge. But now she starts to hear things and we see her heavenly boyfriend calling out. She dies (booohooo!) and joins her heartthrob in the skies with thermocoal clouds. Ending credits rolls with the hero, heroine and the kid hugging,,,Awww, sho shweet!
Bollywood movies at its best…The reason why I don’t watch Hindi movies. My last hindi movie? Hmmmm…Hmmmm…Hmmmm Its been soooo looong now. I think it was Munnabai MBBS. That was brilliant though!
Imagine this situation:
Hero is hanging by his fingertips (nails?) at a height of about 250 metres (a 50 storey building).
Where exactly? The ledge?
Nope! There is a rope, yup a white fibre rope I double checked, hanging from the top floor one huge building to another attached to poles. The buildings are incidentally some 200m apart.
What is the use of that rope? Hang Clothes??? And how did they put it?
Next: There is cute 3 year old girl hanging on to our hero’s back crying! Talk about the edge of cuteness…
It does not stop there: There is a big snake, a big cobra moving towards our hero through the rope!!! What the fuck? Talk about bad luck striking you!
And our hero seems to be stuck and he is bleeding a lot.
This is the situation when I started watching…Amused, I decided to watch on…
A massive crowd is gathered, like ants from our hero’s position (remember the height!)…
People are watching excitedly from flat windows. Strange, only young couples seem to be there…hmmm
The girl suddenly slips from our hero’s shoulder and hangs by his boots! A lady collapses in the flat! People are screaming… Our fair lady is calling some other guy to come and watch the spectacle instead of calling fire force! She is the mother but behaves as if she is a news crazed journalist.
Our hero trying to get the girl back, the snake inching towards him….and now the pole seems to be loose! Oh My God!!!
Our hero seems to have developed prehensile limbs like that of a gorilla and has taken the girl from his boots to his arms in one swoop while hanging on with his second forelimb. A good investment for India in the Olympics?
The snake is nearing, crowds are screaming, hero is twitching, poles are straining and I am gagging with laughter and disbelief…
Snake is near at an armshot, our hero shakes the rope so much that the snake falls to the ground…People cheer but alas the pole breaks…
BTW the fire force had come with their longest ladder and found it to be a couple of miles short. They had spread a big fishing net for our hero to break his fall.
Ya, the pole broke. Like Spiderman our hero swings with the falling rope and barges straight into the bed of yet another couple saying, “Screw your fishing net you fire morons!”
Now the crowd gets some sticks and comes to kill the snake. Poor snake! It has been thrown straight into a spiked wall and is almost dead. Our hero comes and says some mambo jambo. Suddenly the snake is transformed into a hot chick!
Apparently the chick was dissed by our goody two shoes hero and she sought revenge. But now she starts to hear things and we see her heavenly boyfriend calling out. She dies (booohooo!) and joins her heartthrob in the skies with thermocoal clouds. Ending credits rolls with the hero, heroine and the kid hugging,,,Awww, sho shweet!
Bollywood movies at its best…The reason why I don’t watch Hindi movies. My last hindi movie? Hmmmm…Hmmmm…Hmmmm Its been soooo looong now. I think it was Munnabai MBBS. That was brilliant though!
ROTFL.......
ReplyDeleteDivs
Yeah I know the feeling. Usually feels disgusted with them.
ReplyDeleteit happens only in bollywood especially in b grade movies these guys even cook up things tht beat hollywood hands down
ReplyDelete:) Am going to pick up some clues from here for my story ... my hero is NOT going to swing like a spiderman =)) The snake is not going to transform into a ... well...erhm ... hot chick [there is no snake in my story in 1st place]
ReplyDeleteAnd if ever I am going to fall short of words... am going to hire u :D
Cya arnd
Arti
@divya Exactly my reaction when mI saw the movie...
ReplyDelete@aravind and @divakar Disgusting true and this does not happen only in B movies, so called top class movies also dont fare any better.
@akansha I am waiting for that offer!