Morbid Thoughts

I have not been in best of health since last week. Sudden temperature fluctuations coupled with nausea spells have made life pretty miserable. I drift towards morbid thoughts in these times. My remedial measures for such thoughts? Gross out others with these thoughts!

Me: All my innards are melted!

Neo gives me a puzzled look.

Me: I am dying!

Neo: Is there anything new? I am trying to watch this programme. kthnxbye!

Me: You will see my dead body in the morning!'

Neo: Don't give hope!

Me: You will see my body hanging from this fan when you wake up!

Neo: Won't be a pretty sight. Especially since you don't wear a lungi with no underwear.

Me: Directly over you. Hanging. You know what people do when they are hanged?

Neo: They die?

Me: They shit. Now imagine being awakened by some warm sludge on your body.

Neo is gagging.

Me: I wonder if there is a dead wood like morning wood. If thats so, then it would be scene that would mentally scar you for life!