Running in circles in dire straits...

Yesterday I cried. It has been a long while. 5-6 months. I am not a person who thinks it is courageous and manly not to show your emotions. I believe such people suffer from hypertension later on. Anyway, the last time was during our tour. In the night. During our journey cuting Haryana on the national highway. I was talking to one of my best friends. (I don't rank my friends. I believe in arranging friends in concentric circles with me as centre so that more than one belong to each ring. It may be pretty lame to some, but it is my belief. May be stemming from the fact that I had no best friend in school, atleast no one I could consider as one.) We were talking and reminscing about our lives. I needed to vent out my steam and he provided the platform I could lean on to. It was dark so probably he culd not see my tears, may be he could guess from my sparkling eyes or husky voice. (I wasn't bawling!)
Yesterday was a pretty no good day. I had spent the morning at the ground watching matches and in the afternoon at Jackie's house helping them with their presentation. So much for the good things. I had been trying to get through to TIME to ask about IRMA preparations as they had not called me regarding the same. Sooraj had told me they called him and some visits ha been arranged. I couldn't reach him either. Yesterday I finally got to him and I was pretty demolished when he said others had already visited quite a few people. Got the number of a guy who got call and ringed him up. He was quite friendly and helpful. On top of this some dudes from ADL came and told my mom that i had not paid any dues for the past 4 months and they would cut the connection. My parents had a suspicion that I had taken that money and invested on my cell phone. The reciept was missing too. I decided to put things straight by a visit to the ADL office and asked the lady there to give me a statement regarding the money I had to pay. Cleared the air of doubt over me. After this I was pretty much exhausted. Then the matter of heart took precedence in my mind and I was dazed by that for a long time. In the night as usual I logged in and started chatting with one of my best friends. (see above again!) Starting was usual with me foxing and PJing her but then I had to confess my heart out. I just needed to do that. She was a patient listener (or is it reade?) She helped a lot by talking sense and consoling me. I was crying by the middle of it. (Not bawling!) I could'nt help the tears from flowing. I guess that is some kind of a symptom of being heartsick. Chatting to her helped a lot. Put some perspectives in correct position, still the ache remained and it remains...

Music Recommendation: Guns N Roses- Patience. The perfect song for me. Acoustic ballad at its best. Do check out. Its not hard and heavy.



9 comments:

danya said...

Dont b desp naru...comeon u know somthng..its always nice to share ur sorrows to som1 who likes to listen to u...u had been my patient listener for so many days...so its gud tht u opened ur heart to som1 who cld understand u n console u....dont worry...be happy...may god make thngs clear and brighten ur days...

Divakar said...

Naru these things happen once a while everyone has their good and bad days just think it's one of those bad weeks cheer up man.We r all there for u

illusion said...

everyone has ups and downs in life, rockus (i'm sure you've heard that before!)...but consider yourself lucky that you could share your sorrows with someone...sometimes people are sad and they dont have anyone to talk to or a shoulder to cry on...hopelessness is all that seems to be then...

Arti Honrao said...

Three people have already shared their pearls of wisdom here... so I just say
Cheer up buddy ... Main hu naa ...
[Now I see u smiling]

GBU
Arti

duttan said...

Hang in there man.

See the light at the end of the dark tunnel.

Opportunity lurks. Dry your eyes and cash in on it.

I believe that knowledge is power. Work on that...

Anonymous said...

Kabhi kushi kabhi gham
Yahi to hai zindagi merai yaar
Common cheer up naru

Rockus said...

@Evryone: Thanx a lot! Words help! I am the testimonial to that...
Finally the rockus has come back and he is going to kick some candy ass!

lost optimist..^!^ said...

ya..can always count on a friend to be there when u need her..its a precious gift, to have a good friend..someone u can trust..be glad u have someone to share ur feelings with..most people arent tht lucky..so cheer up..happy valentine's day

Rockus said...

@lost optimist: Happy Valentines Day!
I guess I am lucky to have a few good friends...

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