An Ode to Odie...

"Bad boys and the girls who love them..." This was an episode of a VH1 All access show. It featured rock stars like Gene Simmons (KISS), Tommy Lee (Pam's own boy!), Liam Gallaghar (Oasis), Steven Tyler (Aerosmith), Mick jagger (Roling Stones), Eminem ( not a rock star!) etc
But this one is about our own bad boy who was tamed by a pretty mean lady :-(

Disclaimer: Bad boy in this article is not one like above. His vices extended to smoking and drinking and certainly not extending to womanising (ala Mick Jagger), dope (ala Steven Tyler) and extrme hatred (ala Eminem and Manson).
He is a reckless fellow, on the wrong side of the law (read teachers, Principal etc). But deep inside he is good fellow.

I am taking some liberties here with one of my best friends and I am exagerrating a lot of stuff just for the fun of it. Some of these incidents are purely and simply blown out of proportion. Figments of inflated memories I have cooked up in my mind. So please friends take it lightly and don't come running behind me with a hacksaw. ;-)

Once there was a bad boy. The Guru to many an aspiring fufologist and gugologist (smokin an' drinkin :-P). Lets call him Odie. The names may or may not be the same names in the tour reports.

Instance 1
Archie and Palmer at Gurusannidhi along with Garfield meandering nearby...
Guru Odie: What do you want my son?
Archie: I want to be an expert fufologist
Palmer: Me too...
Garfield :*hmmm...interesting lemme listen*
Guru Odie: The secret to fufu is concentration. It can take you to the transcendal levels of ecstacy...
Archie and Palmer : Yes, Guruji!
Garfield:*yeah whatever...*
Odie takes a cigarette in hand and places it lightly on lips. The other three watch intently..
Guru Odie: Placement is the key...
Garfield: What about timing then?
Guru Odie: Shut up!
Guru Odie lights the cigarette and throws the match away. Palmer and Archie watches with reverance.
Guru Odie: Now light cigarettes.
Disciples did the same.
Guru Odie: Suck in lightly.
Archie coughed.
Guru Odie: I said lightly.
Palmer was scared and took a very light sip.
Guru Odie: CIgarette won't feel any pain dear Palmer...
Guru Odie: Now take a light puff and do 'szeeee' with teeth and inhale.
Guru Odie: Now say haaa..
Archie and Palmer: HAAA!
Guru Odie: Not that loudly...you are'nt calling any cows. But that dudes is a good puff.
Archie and Palmer places a packet of Wills Navy Cut at Guru's feet. Guru then gives his blessing to both of them "Deergha Fufu Bhava:"

Instance 2
A trip to a college for a competition.
After some heavy rounds of fufu and convincing the organiser about their gugu needs. The guys buy a "Full Bottle" of Contessa White Rum. A cheap and good stuff sponsored by Kobra.
The guys head to the under construction area of the hostel building in the company of a college driver and a staff. Only 3 glasses and many guys.
Odie is given the honour of pouring the wine.
Odie pours. 3 at a time drink. After a round the bottle is almost empty. That was fast. One peg remains. Shared by all. The driver drinks very little and suggests a night trip to nearby junction. All agree.
Kattabuji thinking, "They will think I have no capacity. God don't let me fall after one peg."
Garfield thinking, "They will think I have no capacity. God don't let me fall after one peg."
Kobra thinking, "They will think I have no capacity. God don't let me fall after one peg."
Odie thinking, "Did I pour a little too much?"
Neo thinking, "Swami Saranam!"

Garfield and Neo approaches a small chained fence about half feet high (feet not metre!). They stop. Stare at each other. Garfield says, 'Dude! Me on a high don't laugh if I fall."
Kattabuji says, "'Dude! Me too on a high don't laugh if I fall."
Neo trips over the chain.
Hogan is pretty careful in croosing the chain and is more careful in hoping over an imaginary chain link. Kobra promptly falls into a pit.
Guys realize they are on a high.
Hogan: That wash a preddy big beg, Odie.
Neo: Shucks!
Kattabuji: Did he shay shucks or shucks!
Garfield: I think he shaid shucks, Kattabushy!
Odie: Blush your dongue adleasht onsh or shpeech will shlurr.
Kattabuji: Ish shumthing wrong with his shpeech?
Kobra is flat on his back and Hogan is sitting like a dead bush.
Neo:Shwami Sharanam!

Instance 3
In a role of reversal Odie fell pray at "8 PM". Odie was threw up. THe others washed him up and stripped him to his underwear. Odie was placed under a shower for 30 minutes. Since all the others were in a high they mistook Odie for his jeans and vice versa. They wiped his jeans with a towel and laid out Odie in the sun to dry. After an our they regained some composure and brought Odie indoors. Odie on his way back in bus threw up again this time in front of a police station. Thankfully the SI was busy having an afternoon pint at a nearby bar.

After many more exciting and countless brushes with the law. Odie continued his reckless ways. Until one fine morning. That fine morning he found that the sunshine was shinier, the moonlight was moonier, the flowers were flowerier, the world seemed to slow down on him. He was in love.(He saw moon in the daylight, ample proof that love is blinding!)
He still tried to continue his reckless lifestyle. But, his enthusiasm was curbed. He was unsure of everything. He wanted to laugh and cry at the same time. He wanted to sing and dance at the same time. He wanted to...duh! I think I should get on with it. He wanted her.
Odie: Man, I really love her and i want her. Is it possible?
Garfield: Hmmm, mmmm,er.
Odie: Come on say what is in your mind. I can handle anything. After all its just a girl.
Odie rendevous closer to a cliff which is 100m high and ponders how he would land if he jumped. Garfield is sensing danger.
Garfield:Hypothetically speaking the time sharing system which Kernighan and Richie proposed is in direct conflict with the philosophy of Nietche which is in contrast to the Nihilist works done by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle while in seclusion at Timbuktu.
Odie: SO what do you mean by that.
Odie inches closer to the cliff.
Garfield: *Panicking* I mean it is probable to have her in all possibility.
A smile spreads over Odies face.
Garfield hides his guilt at telling a lie with a fake smile of reassurance.
The rest is history...

Aftermath: The girl in question fell head over heels in love with Odie. (rather unexpectedly!) Put an invisible noose over Odie's neck and tamed the beast. Now they live happily everafter!


P.S: 'Some' people wanted a happy story that ends well...
Your wish is my command :-P

Disclaimer II: I repead thesh thingsh are heavily exsha...exsha..whatever...rated to generate a fiction feel. I may be writing thish becaush...forgive my *hick* language!