My Friend Sancho

All generalizations are false. Including this one.

-Albert Einstein

Yesterday, a colleague was mentioning about a poster in our office with this quote. At midnight it was proved by Amit Varma. I finished reading the book My Friend Sancho. Autographed by him and you can read the tale of that misadventure here. I was fairly cynical when I read over and over in Amit's blog about the book being a love story. I for one didn't associate his writing with love. I was expecting a lot of humour (there is lots and the book contains several laugh out loud moments) and a lot of libertarian view points (a smattering of it and pretty well meshed into the story). What I got in the end after reading the book was a strong empathy for Abir, the protagonist. I was in his position and tensed which of the three endings he imagined would happen.

The protagonist is someone I can deeply associate with. I suspect many other 24 year olds would do the same. He is single. Confident. Loafs around at work. Reads blogs and specifically Inda Uncut. Very cynical. Uses sense of humour as his defense. Writes to make a living. Eats out and loves going to exotic restaurants. Starts drinking beer and graduates to vodka (in the same sitting mind you!).

Small caveat: Too many references to India Uncut. Made me squirm a little.

The novel has several moments about things we would like to do but never actually does. For instance, breaking the bosses spine so that he never has sex again in life. At hindsight, I could say that such instances may be one too many in the first half of the book. There are so many laugh out moments which just comes out of the blue. I was laughing my ass off in the portion where heart beats the shit out of brain, climbs the rope ala WWE, and lands a diving elbow drop on brain. A lot of such goofy anecdotes are scattered in the book, which makes reading very pleasurable.

The book could have imploded due to the magnitude of issues that are present. Amit does well in focusing on the protagonist, his world, and most importantly his relationship with Sancho, his love interest. All the other things are happening in the background with some said and some unsaid, left to the readers imagination.

One could argue that the plot is a bit implausible. But this is certainly not a bollywoodish fare, where the most incredulous things happen. Unexpected turns in life often changes ones destiny. There is even an interesting discussion on the interpretation of such unexpected turns.

A disappointing aspect. Too little of the lizard. I was hoping for much more.

Superb effort. Highly recommended book. Even if you don't (m)any books, I think everyone would enjoy it. At different levels. It beats Keep off the Grass for the top spot in my list of best new generation Indian novels.

I am still laughing at the following part and pretty certain this would happen to me:

Sancho and Abir are spending a romantic evening at home. Music is flowing. Sancho asks Abir, "Can't you play something softer?" Abir is shocked. "What! You don't like Metallica?"

P.S: The links of the books are to Flipkart. You can get a good discount there. The delivery is also prompt and trouble free. The place I usually buy books from.

This is it

Weekends typically starts of on a desperate note.

The wake up call is usually either one of the following:

a) Nature calls. Calls me an asshole and warns me of dire consequences if I don't enter the loo within seconds.
b) Stomach calls. Calls me with a growl. Need some food. Or if you really want your oesophagus for brunch...

If its point a, the level desperation may heighten if the bathrooms aren't free. If its point b, all that I do is wake up and after a couple of hours head out to have lunch. Oh! The wakeup time is 11-12 by the way!

Friday night included a very heavy dinner with lots of beer thanks to having no breakfast and virtually no lunch. Wakeup call at 9 this Saturday. My mom's friend was in Bangalore visiting her son. Invite to lunch on Sunday. Lunch invites are gleefully accepted these days since I am really fed up of eating mediocre food. Great food is available at the cost of a very long walk and rather high price. I ended up not going as laziness took over my bones as usual. Anyways I slept again only to be woken up at 12. One of my roomies had gone to visit the doc and the doc promptly got him admitted. Rest of the day was spent watching IPL in his hospital room. Dude got a paid vacation for the weekend with AC!

Evening was when the action started. Amit Varma was doing a book reading in Crossword. Really wanted to get the book signed by him. So I called up Neo and told him to meet me at Residency Road. Google Maps showed the way as very simple! Yours truly proceeded to Residency Road and promptly forgot the mobile phone.

After a short stroll I realised that there was no store as mentioned by Google Maps! I walked in circles, squares, and even a trapezium for an hour! Bulb strikes late and I decided to go to the Crossword store in Garuda Mall and ask them for directions. Straight from the horse's mouth! When I reached Garuda Mall, there was another book reading going on. Manjushree Abhinav was reading her newly launched book, "A Grasshopper's Pilgrimage." Being really tired, I decided to stay and found the discussion very good. Tom Alter was also present. Got the book signed by the author and decided to ask about the other Crossword store. The damn thing was nowhere near where I had landed and decided go there anyway to see if Amit Varma was still around. Thankfully, I caught him just as the reading was over. Got the book "My Friend Sancho" signed and picked up a copy of "For whom the bell tolls" by Hemingway. Happy bee was me!

When I got home, the pint bottle of Fuel that I had bought was over thanks to Neo and Hogan. (I had bought a full bottle and a pint of Fuel on Friday so that we don't go dry on a Saturday. All watering holes would be closed on counting days. We didnt want to make the same mistake as we did during election days!) Neo promptly shovered me with curses and abuses. He also couldnt find Crossword. Heck! He was searching for Crossroad instead of Crossword and went circles, squares, and ellipses in MG Road area. He didnt go trapezium since he is a bit too straight!

Me and Neo went out to get some dinner so that me and JC could exhaust the Fuel! Both of our legs were weary from our misadventures and decided to take Auto. All of them wanted a ransom from us and we ended up namecalling and was sure lucky to be out of fist fights. Got some dinner from the Nandhini nearby and proceeded to empty the Fuel.

Wake up call due to point b in the morning. Noonish would be a better word! The high point was a short drive to Kayal from a sumptuos Sadya. Low point was being too drowsy to go for the planned drive to ISKCON temple. Me and Nike watched IPL while Hogan was busy watching Vennila Kabadi Kuzhu and Naan Kaduvul. After a while cable gave up on us and both of us slept off. Neo came home and got me going to Kyra. We are on a mission to go to all the swanky restaurants in Bangalore before he leaves to Chennai this mid-july.

Thermal and a Quarter was playing. Great show. I loved their new track Sold. Always wanted to see TAAQ live and got it done at the cost of expensive food and booze. We downed a couple of Carlsburgs and had a starter. We ended up with Subway sandwiches on the way home to ward the hunger off.

This is it. A weekend gone like a breeze. Bankrupt now. Looking forward to May 29. Salary yay!

P.S: All books are linked to Flipkart pages. The best online place to buy books in India!
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Zoozoos revealed

May be you got this on your mail or twitter. May be you didn't. I am posting this since I feel vindicated for having a hard on for Zoozoos. Now you perverts don't read into the script too much. I am neither pedo nor gay!
From BlogStuff

From BlogStuff


Was checking out stuff and found this Friday five. Since I dislike conventions, I decided to do the tag on a Tuesday and on a mid-May.

The original rule meant a report card for the quarter. I am turning into the report card for the mid-year along with anticipation for the month and a half. Lets see how this pans out!
Would you say 2009 so far is meeting expectation, exceeding expectations, or failing to meet expectations?

Difficult one. I am not easily satisfied with stuff. That said, I am fairly optimistic about the month and half ahead. My answer would be meeting expectation.

What letter grade would you give yourself for your performance at work or school?

Similar to Q 1. I would give myself a C if things go as planned. Otherwise a D.

On a scale from 1 to 10, how happy have you been with the weather so far in 2009?

Too hot for comfort this summer is. Talking like Yoda its making me. Give the weather a 4, will I.

Which of the Motion Picture Association of America’s film ratings would you give your social life so far in 2009?

Hmm. Tough one this is! No prospect of change in the coming 6 weeks means its R rated. No real chance of going NC-17! :P

2009’s parents are on the phone and want to know how 2009 can improve its performance. What have been 2009’s areas of strength and what are its areas for growth in the second quarter?

2009 needs to get off its butt and start doing things! Little more reading up on technology, business, and other leisure stuff would do a world of good. 2009's strength has been a lot of luck combined with lot of goodwill. Areas of growth are immense, given the position of 2009 in mid May.That was a quick one! Boring? Certainly not for me! Take it up if you find it interesting.

Happy Birthday Amma

Happy Birthday Amma!

You are not going to see this post and I hope you never will! This blog contains a snapshot of everything bad about her only sonny. He wants you to live in a world where her son is innocent and uncorrupted. Still I am writing this. Words give me a sense of power and a power of expression. My only outlet.

You did everything you could to raise me as a good human being. Took me into your arms when I had no option but to cry helplessly as school work piled up owing to my tardiness. You sat up several nights writing my records and drawing pictures that I should have made while I slept blissfully. You faced the flak and the shame for my bad academics. You defended me with fire in front of those who expressed doubts on my future.

You walked the tightest of ropes when we were financially insecure. Never let anything come in the way of my education. You catered to my wildest convictions and let me do whatever I wanted. You let me pour our precious savings down the drain for my dreams for which I never worked. You always gave my opinions a lot of merit.

Thank you for letting me be me. The arrogant prick who does what he thinks is right. Thank you for teaching me how to live and believing in me.

Happy Birthday.

P.S: If any of you dicks who know me personally direct this blog to my mom, I am going to have your innards for dinner.
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An attempt was made on my life this morning. Who? The Mallu Illuminati or we can call them Malluminati. I had tweeted about a mallu conspiracy to take over the world a couple of weeks back. Strictly. For. Fun. Being jobless can be a bitch at times. Some people found my previous post in accordance with the theory and even warned me that I might have strange visitors at night.

Remember! Tweets are to be parsed bottom-up!

@rockus So you found the clues about the Mallu Illuminati's plan for world domination? Expect a strange visitor tonight, and wont be zoozoos
rockus says:
Yup! Draft still there! New post: Zoozoo and a perverted Mallu. Previous post.

I skipped town on that weekend and left for Thrissur. I think the baby who was with me in the coupe was a malluminati mole.

Picture is indicative. From here. Imagine this kid when he is 6 months old with the same expression. You get the idea!

So I land in Thrissur. More on the trip later. We have more pressing issues at hand here folkses! Most of my roadtrips in Thrissur was through the areas of Mallu Illuminati. Hummers, S class, and BMWs rule these roads. Home to Gulfar Mohammedaali and several big guns (howitzers rather!) of middle east. There was a BMW and a Hummer tailing us and little did I realise that they were keeping a watch on me!

Front eines Hummer H2Image via Wikipedia

Today early morning I come home. Spend my time checking official mails and working. Roomies wake up and I tell them the case of mysterious torn pants. Aah yes. Another Malluminati doing. I wear my perfectly pressed, brand new (not to mention expensive!) Wrangler jeans for the wedding. After a while I find my pants torn. Not a small tear. The entire left ass is torn apart. Lucky for me I had to buy a new Kurta due to the extreme summer heat in Kerala. The shirt I took along was so drenched with sweat that it could be used for irrigating an acre of land. Malluminati failed at the mission of getting arrested for indecent ass exposure thanks to my "I need no fucking pants" long kurta.

Back to today morning. Roomies leave for work except one. Me lazing around in bed thinking of zoozoos. After a while I decide to wash a few clothes and get ready to work. Soak my clothes in surf. Move near the bathroom sink. Open the tap. Crash comes the sink down into a million pieces. Blood starts flowing from my toe. I am speechless. After a minute, almost knowing shout comes in. Sink fell down? I open the door to find my roomie. Lets call him Neo as we usually do in this blog.

I keep pouring water over my toe. Blood keeps gushing. Neo is simply watching. I have to swear at his livestock to get me some cloth. He hums along and after taking his pretty time brings me a baniyan. I drape it around my toe and hobble out of the bathroom. Help? Nope! Baniyan got drenched in blood. Then I understood the meaning of Red flag. It was beautiful except for the pain part of it. Neo is missing. He comes back and says he was sending mails. Hmmm. Without notice he gets dressed and leaves for office. I think he is also part of Malluminati now. Worst part? He sleeps next to me.

Somehow the bleeding stops and I hobble out in search for a clinic. Doc and the nurse dresses the wound. Gives me an injection and tells me to be careful.

I am following their advice. If anything happens, the Malluminati is responsible. Grill Neo for more information.

I don't know why they are doing this. Be careful. They are out there!
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Zoozoo and a perverted Mallu

I am a big fan of the Vodafone Zoozoo ads. Fabulous job done by O&M. I was awed when I got to know that these critters are actually live action and not animation. Confession: After I got to know that these Zoozoos are young ladies in a fancy outfit, I have been fantasizing about them! Any outfits available for some kinky time in bed? Heck by the look of my love life I should get a zoozoo blowup doll instead! Okay. I'll stop turning you off.

And yeah...these Zoozoos are mallus.

Closely listen to what the male Zoozoo is saying.

Scene 1: Parotta, Parotta, Parotta
Scene 2: At 0:15 Puttum Kadalem
Scene 3: Kappa-Meen, Kappa-Meen, Kappa-Meen

All three would be familiar to any self respecting mallu out there. Three of our favourite dishes!

If not, pics follow for your amnesiac brains:

Some links for all the Zoozoo out there:
Leaving for Thrissur tonight. Attending a friends marriage. May seems to be the month of marriages. parents wedding anniversary is this month. I forgot the date! Dammit!

(P.S: Click on the images to go to a couple of drool worthy cooking blogs!)

Confession Room

Long story short. Anjali got the Honest Weblog Award with a conditional tag included. Write a post on 10 honest things about yourself. Since she has been gracious enough to open the tag for the not-so-honest and unscrupulous rest of us, I thought I would do this! After all, I need to justify the blog title at times!

1. I started this blog way back in 2005 with the notion of being totally anonymous. Write about deep rooted evil within my mind! Minutes later I realised I did not have much to write! So you are reading this blog in its current form!

2. I started planning on taking over this world right from the age of 6. Planning still underway!

3. I am a little too optimistic about every thing.

4. I cannot hold a grudge for long. Just cannot hate people. I can dislike them though.

5. I hold all my relationships with great value. Gets irritated and depressed when the feeling is not mutual.

6. I have a good long term memory and things I did when I was younger still shames me. Even the small incidents are left fresh on my mind.

7. I have done nasty experiments on grasshoppers when I was little. See point 6.

8. I like to walk. A lot. Have walked upto 8-10 KM at a stretch rather aimlessly.

9. I get carried away by my ideas. Plan a lot and end up abandoning them.

10. I am a procastrinator of the highest order. Still I manage to get things done satisfactorily to all but me.
No posts in April. It would be a lie to say that I was busy. I was waltzing my way through life which culminated with a night of 10 beers. Quarterly company party was last night and was awesome! This month promises a lot of work, which I hope get me to post a lot more!

I bought an personal media player last month which cements my fear of being deaf in a few years! Specifically bought an iAudio 7 since it supports a shit load of formats and I have a sizeable ogg collection as well. Pure listening bliss when combined with my Sennheiser headset. On the downside of music listening, I updated Ubuntu to the latest version and Amarok got updated to version 2.0. It sucks. Sucks balls and dicks. Trying to find a new player to meet my whims.

We had a nice, fat brunch today. Fat in the literal sense. Woke up 10. Got our lazy bums to Stones pub at 12. Coupla pitchers of beer, Pork, 2 dishes of Beef, and a Mutton dish to boot. On our way back went to DC Books in Indira Nagar. Bought a lot of books. That reminds me. Bought a whole bunch Tolkein and Tinkle last month which are still inside my desk in office. God knows when I am going to finish them. Need to go to office get the books and my lappy I had left there before leaving for Leela.

Leave you all with my last years May Day thoughts. Some things from past should be relished and cherished. And I long for those days...

Lazy May Day...
Hope to make some Hay...
Feed it to my donkey Bray...
Yeah, for this stupid poem I shall Pay!

Listening to this...check it out...Ash is so fucking delectable in this!