The End...

This is the final post in this blog. Nearly five years ago, I started this blog from an Internet Cafe. 5 years on, the blog has probably chronicled my state of being. The triumphs, losses, disappointments et al. All this while, I have been experimenting with lot of things and even tried to switch the blog multiple times. This time the switch is for real.

I want a fresh start without the baggage. You could even say I am a little inspired by Up in the Air. I don't really have an ETA for a new blog. I could start posting today, tomorrow, or never. Go to: Idle thoughts and update your references. See you out there!

Signing off with these words from Jim Morrison:

This is the end
Beautiful friend
This is the end
My only friend, the end
Of our elaborate plans, the end
Of everything that stands, the end
No safety or surprise, the end
I'll never look into your eyes...again
Can you picture what will be
So limitless and free
Desperately in need...of some...stranger's hand
In a...desperate land...

Should know when to keep my foul mouth shut and not pass snarky comments. Feels like shit. "You despicable idiot!", screams my inner voice. Sad!

Lesson: Consistency is the key in being a good human being. A deliberate slip, however tiny means the good work is undone. 


My last night at home for what has been a really long sick leave. Visited a friend and her baby today. Its only when she teased that I realised I had a break nearly equivalent to a maternity leave! Though I was dying to get back, now I am not so sure! May be its because the departure is mere hours away. Two months of being pampered by your parents and not doing any chores whatsoever! It would have been heaven if I knew I didn't have any terminal disease! From day after tomorrow I can look forward to a call from my mother thrice a day reminding me to have my medicine. Mothers!

In the last 2-3 weeks I have been hanging around with little kids. Such a joy to be with them! Sample snippet of conversation between me and a 5 year cousin.
Premise: A temple. Really good one at that. Very peaceful. Lots of space. Best part: Lots of sand!
She: Which God is this?
We were near the Lord Sastha shrine.
Me: Shastha. (It was written Shastha there and she didn't see that.)
She: Who is that?
(Apparently she is not familiar with the name.)
Me: Also called Ayyappan. You know Ayyappan!
She: Yes! (Very happy and prays.)
Me: Ayyappan's school name is Shastha, just like you are Bhagya at school.
She: No way!
Me: Really! He studied in Sabarigiri Public School. His full name is Shastha Sivan.
She: Really? (starting to believe)
Me: Of course!
She promptly goes and proudly exhibits her new found mythological knowledge to my mother and aunts.
Angry glares follow!
Another one.
My 2.5 year old cousin is very naughty. Runs around and screams in the temple. I catch hold of him and threaten him about a demon nearby. Suddenly a cracker bursts. An offering at the temple.
He: Bhootham? (A little shaken by the sound and wide eyed!)
Me: Yes. A biiig one. Did you hear that sound now? That's the sound of him opening one eye after hearing you make a racket!
He: (nearly in tears) Tell him not to come!
Me: Don't make any noise and he wont come!
Bhagya is listening intently to all this.
She: Is there really a Bhootham?
Me: Of course!
Me: Look! There is his portrait. (I point to a scary figure in the tower)
She: Scary!
The little one hides behind me and is the most well behaved kid in the world for the next half an hour!

Would miss them all and the lavish life at home. Back to going through the motions everyday for the next couple of months. Brightest prospect for next week is having some bacon from Stones sans the beer! The sans part dims the prospect considerably. I have to accept the fact I will be the sober throughout day and night for the next one year!
Ciao people! Drink your daily milk!
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I do it on my terms

Back after watching 3 idiots. Not deserving of the rave reviews imho. Too much melodrama. Very far-fetched. Nearly sickening. I loved the central theme though. Live your life the way you want. Be what you want. Stop putting your kids through the stencil you made in your dreams. Fairly accurate for the current setup where the parents decide what their child wants to be based on the existing market forces and media hype.

I have seen a very good friend of mine wasted because he had to join an Engineering College thanks to an easy entry owing to reservation. He never had aptitude or attitude to be an engineer. Believe me! There is something like that. Almost all engineers do not realise this fact. He was not interested in Engineering and he had to join because his folks thought he should. He is a good artist, used to be good in poetry, and writing in Malayalam. Excellent PR guy and a good dancer. When it came to engineering, he just couldn't make it. He was neither good in mugging up stuff and belching them out in exam paper nor he could grasp the intricacies. Result? Supplies after supplies. After a short while the backlog list was too overwhelming and he gave up all hopes for graduation. He is working in a BPO. He says its alright. But I still wonder what would have happened had he gone for a fine arts course or mass communication. My gut feeling says he would have done really well. He can still make it big in life. I sincerely hope he will.

2010 has begun. This evening, a friend and I were wondering at how quickly time has gone by. Nearly 4 years since we graduated. I did a quick evaluation on my current status. Several veiled rebukes were made by multiple friends over this period of being an underachiever. Did I do justice to myself? At the end of long and winding thoughts, the answer is yes with a grain of salt.

I had a free reign over the choices I made in my life. Very free in comparison to my friend. My parents never enforced their will on me and I was free to choose my future. Not having a lot of choice thanks to my perpetual hatred towards our educational system resulting to lower marks also helped a lot! I ended up in my current profession which gave me the best of two worlds I really love. Technology and creativity, primarily writing. I am fortunate to be working on some cool technologies that make me go, "This is fucking good!", every single day. I can exercise my right brain with a lot of word play and my left brain with a lot of analysis with smattering of programming. The money is not too bad and load is not too high.

Yes, I should be happy. I wouldn't be contended though. Shouldn't be. There is always room for more. There is a long way to go. One thing that has to be kept in mind: I do it on my terms.

Happy New Year everybody! Do the best things this year! But do it on your terms!