Mallu Alert!

Being in Bangalore its not tough to run into mallus. In fact, its easier to get run over by them! That said, its much easier to recognize them to avoid problems like:
  • Being embarassed after passing lewd comments at mallu girls.
  • Being chased by mallu boyfriends/brothers after passing lewd comments at the girls. Girls in this case need not be mallu.
  • Being an ass after speaking to shopkeepers in your broken hindi only to discover them reading 'Mathrubhumi'.
    Demonstrated instance: A student sang the song 'Ek Do Teen...' in his mind to confirm the hindi for 12 while buying stuff, only to be stunned by shopkeepers response in Malayalam. That particular student currently writes awesome blog posts!
  • Being locked up by the Police for swearing in Malayalam not realizing the constable himself is a mallu.
The list is practically endless.

My roomie often boasts that he can recognize mallus at sight and he has a 100% track record. Though I was apprehensive about it, I have to say he has a 100% track record in my presence. I rather look for more subtle ways to recognise mallus. For example, we recently had to look for a key duplicating place (Bangalore is expensive. No PC or Internet, yet. Decided to be a burglar at night, since I have a lot of time at hand during night.) and we had conflicting information from everyone we asked. I found a real estate signboard. Real estate and mallus are inseparable entities. My hunch was right! Mallu man gave us the right directions. So, I also have a 100% track record with 1 out of 1 mark!

So, lets get down to an incident yesterday. After having dinner, roomie said he needed to buy a medicine. I tagged along to the medical store. Few girls had just gone in before us. Pretty ones! :D Roomie started getting a mallu vibe. He said he was sure they are mallus. Then a couple of them went to a display board showcasing private ladies stuff and started talking in Malayalam. I was in a very sadistic mode and asked loudly to my roomie in Malayalam.

"Dude. What is this medicine for?" The girls were offcolour and looking at us now.

He went a bit offcolour and whispered, "Later. Later."

I whispered back, "Tell something!"

The shop guy came back with a medicine and said, "We don't have the exact one you need. But this is the same medicine from a different company. You do know the usage right? Its a highly potent laxative."

Girls were trying hard not to giggle. I was trying hard about my escape route. Roomie was trying hard not to be mistaken with a tomato. But hey, he still maintains the 100% track record!

Saw this wonderful cartoon on Rock On!! Check it out!
Fly You Fools - Indian Web Comic about life and it's Irritations
Fly You Fools - Indian Comics about Life.


Unknown said...


Malayalis are recognizable anywhere.

He hee, I still can't get over with the potent laxative bit. Funny!

Praveen said...

hahahhaa...chirichu marichu...

many times it happened to me in shops..i'll speak in broken hini and they speak back in malayalm:D

tht rock on cartoon was awesome

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